Man decides to 'ruin' best friend's life; 'After what I found on his phone, he deserves it.' UPDATED

When this man is determined to ruin his best friend's ife, he asks the internet:

"I’m going to ruin my best friend's life tomorrow. Any advice?"

I (27M) am going to ruin my best friends (27M) life tomorrow and I feel no remorse for what’s about to happen. We’ve been best friends for 15 years. We currently live together.

We were drinking the other day and playing video games when I went on his phone to send his girlfriend (a close friend of mine) a video of us playing games and I stumbled across the creepiest collection of pictures I’ve ever seen.

He has hundreds of photos of my ex (who is still in our friendship group) that he’d taken at group gatherings where he had zoomed in on her bum, legs and up her skirt.

These pictures stretched back years and we’ve only been broken up for one year. He’s sneakily taken pictures of her body without anybody noticing. This alone is terrible but he had done it to a lesser extent to our other female friends too, including his ex girlfriend (who is part of our group and a close friend of mine).

He has hundreds of these pictures and videos zooming in on their bums, cleavage and so on. As well as copious amounts of nudes of all of his ex girlfriends. He’s been with his current girlfriend for over a year now.

Tomorrow I, along with two friends, are going to confront him and give him an ultimatum. He tells his girlfriend or I will. Following this I will let all of the victims of this know what he has done.

He’s dead to me, I’m going to kick him out of the flat and he can fend for himself as I don’t give a shit what happens to him.

He’s lucky that I’ve not beaten him senseless for this and the only reason I’ve stayed my hand is if any of the victims want to press charges I don’t want to interfere or complicate that process but if anybody I know deserves a beating, it’s him.

Before we give you OP's update, let's take a look at some of the top responses:

faaeng7 writes:

I had an employee that worked for me when I was a manager at a grocery store.. I really like this person they were polite and did their job, never had any issues. One day someone brought to my attention that he was taking pictures of women, customers and other employees.

I didn’t believe it until I started watching him more closely. Looking back at footage it went far back. It made my stomach turn. I often put him on self checkout because most people complain about this job, he didn’t. He has freedom to walk around. He would keep his phone in his pocket and peak the camera out just enough to take photos of women and girls. I saw red.

Worst part is, his wife was pregnant at the time…with a girl. We confronted him, he made excuses. Said he was checking his phone incase his wife texted because she was pregnant and had other health issues.

there was no way to get the proof on his phone. He got removed from self checkout and the transferred to another store. No serious consequences. It makes me sick thinking how many photos he has, and what he does with them.

To this day, I wish I could tell his wife. I no longer work for the store but I’m afraid of legal action somehow coming back to me.

09aska writes:

Have you heard of the notion of a victimless crime? Your friend is a creep, yes, but had this event not happened, who would have been harmed, realistically? If you and your friends went to the grave without noticing, and he kept to his creepy ways without letting anybody know, who would have been harmed?

Imagine that potential reality. Does this make his actions ok? No, but it would be, by definition, a victimless crime. At most he would have just hurt himself, and by proxy others, but we do that type of shit all the time, like whenever we act in self hatred.

I'm not saying don't do anything, I'm saying beware that your actions here will be the conduit through which his crimes will have real, direct victims, will cause real massive distress and harm in others.

You will ruin his life, by proxy you will harm his family, and this truth bomb will have severe psychological consequences for the women involved. They may need therapy and who knows what else. And this would not happen without the help of what you have done and will do. You may dislike my words, but, logically, this is how it plays out.

liemandat writes:

I know I'm probably going to be one of many broken records here, but OP, you are a hero. Truly. And the amount of comments here from people who are trying to insist that you're taking this too far, or stating that you're violating your "friend"'s privacy are missing the whole fg point.

Thank you for holding your "friend" to account and for standing up for your female friends when most would brush something like this off. I (28F) have been subjected to sexual harassment from male coworkers, thankfully without the whole "inappropriate pictures of me without my consent" situation, but still disgusting and nothing was ever really done about it.

Please don't be too hard on yourself for not noticing this sooner. The fact of the matter is that you now know, you're acting on it, and if God forbid should this happen again, you'll be able to identify it much quicker. That (IMO) is what matters.

I hope you are able to find peace from this, that your "friend" feels the full weight of justice, and that the rest of your friend group is able to move on and cope healthily.

Sending you a big hug, and I wish you and your friends the best!

gtenag writes:

The people calling you a hero for this are idiots lol, you're just exposing your best friend for being a perv. And what's all this talk about victims? There literally aren't any unless they found out which wouldn't help anyone, yet you're planning on doing that. Why ruin your best friends life for being a pervert?

It's not illegal, and is hurting no one but you. If you have a problem with his pervertedness more power to you but you don't need to get on a soapbox and expose him to everyone around him. People aren't perfect, we ll make mistakes. He didn't do anything illegal, didn't hurt anybody, and he's your best friend of 15 years!

The best course of action is to bring it up with him in private, since you're the one with the problem. Hear his side of this, you've known him for 15 years for God's sake. If after that you still have a problem, get him to move out.

No need to air your dirty laundry for the whole world to see, let alone on reddit with a bunch of yes men who agree with whatever post is getting karma. Please reconsider your course of action, I know emotions are high but think this over like an adult. Nothing is to be gained from what you want to do to him.

Update:

Firstly I want to thank everyone for all of the positive comments and advice on my original post, I really appreciate all of the different insights. I deleted my original post as it was going viral and was on TikTok and it made me a little uncomfortable how popular it got.

I thought I’d provide a small update for other victims of things like this that were commenting on my post to show that everyone doesn’t get away with this.

He admitted he has a serious problem, not really offering much the way of an explanation, admitting that he felt he would be caught sooner or later and promised to seek professional help.

The victims have all been informed and they can start to begin dealing with this violation. Personally I am still in a state of shock and emotional limbo, feeling quite cold about this whole thing. I’m not sure what happens next.