Man demands wife goes to therapy to 'control her emotions;' wife says, 'That's anti-feminist. How DARE YOU.' AITA?

"AITA for suggesting that my wife go to therapy because she can't control her emotions?"

For the past several months, my wife and I don't seem to be communicating well. I feel like we're not agreeing on as much as we used to, and it seems like she wants to turn everything into an argument.

Today, while out shopping for groceries, I decided to buy a cheaper brand of a type of sauce that she likes. We're trying to save for a house, and we can't afford to buy super expensive stuff. We haven't even gone out to eat or gone to the movies in months.

Anyway, I got home with the sauce, and she flips out, saying that she knows the brand that she likes and that this was lower quality and gross. I calmly tried to explain my reasoning, but the logic didn't seem to matter to her. She told me that I had been ignoring her a lot lately and that she didn't feel as though she was being heard.

I found this very ironic, since I was very clear about how much we needed to save over the next few months, yet she wants to go back to our old standard of living. Finally, I had enough of her nonsense, and I started raising my voice, telling her that money doesn't grow on trees and that she's nuts if she thinks we're going to be able to afford a house later this year if we don't save now.

I then told her that she needed to learn how to control her emotions and stop being so entitled. I even suggested that she attend therapy to begin being a more level-headed and rational person.

She absolutely erupted at this, accused me of se%ism, and told me that if she were a man, there's no way I would have said what I said. I laughed in disbelief and told her that she clearly has emotional problems, as well as delusions, and that therapy could really help her out.

As she stormed off, I told her that I was only trying to help her, but she never even acknowledged me and simply slammed the bedroom door shut.

Now I'm worried that she will spend money lavishly just to spite me and that her destructive behavior will sabotage our financial goals. I want my wife to see things from my perspective, but I think she may have a personality disorder that needs fixing by a professional.

I'm totally exhausted by the situation, and I feel like a constant pawn in my wife's twisted games. She's still in the bedroom and refuses to talk to me, even after I slid a list of therapists under the door. AITA?

Let's find out.

nungoe writes:

NTA. If you’re saving for a house, every penny matters and your wife completely overreacted. Like Jesus it’s just sauce, why can’t she open up to your perspective? Maybe what you said about her needing therapy was a little out of hand.

fires6 writes:

Yta. She's not being heard, and you laughed at her, told her to get professional help.... Basically, have someone else hear her. She's at her whits' end, and your solution is to slide a list of therapists under the door.

She's definitely right in that you are not listening. Yet you have plenty of effort for condensation and judgment. Apparently, your goals are not aligned either, but yours are being pushed on to her.

lovewic writes:

YTA um she needs therapy ? According to your story you had an emotional outburst as well. Secondly if a brand of sauce is going to make it so you can't afford a house then .....you can't afford a house even with the discount sauce. Your wife told you how she is feeling.

You dismissed her. You BOTH aren't communicating well nor are you on the same page. Couples therapy and maybe idk sitting down and discussing a budget would be helpful.