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Man describes body-positive wife as 'fat' to his coworker, 'she started screaming.' AITA?

Man describes body-positive wife as 'fat' to his coworker, 'she started screaming.' AITA?


"AITA for calling my wife fat?"

I (34M) work in a physically demanding field. Myself and my coworkers are all fit people, without a lot of body type variety. My wife (32F) is fat. The thing is, she's always been fat. The whole time I've known her. We dated when she was fat, we got married when she was fat.

She knows she's fat. She's fat, and she's beautiful. I'm happy if she loses weight, and I'm happy if she stays where she is. I think she's the most beautiful woman in the world as is.

One of my coworkers, Julia (28F) started complaining that she's too far to be loved, and fat people don't get to be loved. Julia isn't fat. She's maybe, MAYBE 120 pounds. She works out five times a week, and barely ever eats.

I told her that wasn't true, and that my wife was fat. She got really red in the face, and started telling me I wasn't allowed to call my wife fat, that I was insulting her, and that my wife was beautiful and curvy.

Carol doesn't like being called curvy. She thinks it's a label used to avoid calling people fat, because it's a dirty word to most people. I told Julia as much. Julia started threatening to tell my wife I called her fat. She pulled up her Instagram and told me she was messaging Carol that I was being mean.

I beat her to the punch and called my wife. Put her on speaker, and asked if she was Curvy or Fat. Carol laughed, and said “I hate that curvy sh$t. Fat and beautiful, baby!” I thanked her, told her I loved her, and hung up.

As soon as I hit end, Julia went mental. She started screaming that I was abusing my wife. When I asked how, she said I was clearly brainwashing her into accepting the term fat, to try to keep her complacent and from getting away from me. That no woman in her right mind could be okay with their husband calling them fat.

I showed her a picture of my wife in a shirt that had BBW on it (she bought it for herself, btw.). She stormed off, and hasn't spoken to me since. Now, I just walked in today to an email from HR requesting a meeting with me. I don't think it's a big deal- I have my wife’s blog for fat positivity, the shirt, and can easily call her for proof.

But now, things are frigid at work, and Julia constantly gives me dirty looks when we're in the same room. She ignores me otherwise. So I'm just over here, scratching my head. AITA for calling my wife fat?

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

dramaandaheadache said:

The difference between your wife and Julia is that your wife loves herself. Julia can't even pretend to. NTA.

Every-Newt5817 said:

NTA and you wife sounds awesome. Julia should get a better hobby because she sucks at fishing.

Alarming_Reply_6286 said:

Are you kidding me?! What could Julia possibly report to HR? Harassing your wife who doesn’t work with you? What you say to your wife is no one’s damn business. Tell Julia to stay out of your personal life! You should file a complaint against Julia for creating a hostile work environment. NTA.

sadcow699 said:

Sounds like Julia was fishing for a compliment and was shocked when she didn’t receive one. NTA

LawyerApprehensive50 said:

NTA. AT THE SAME TIME, you may want to consider being more circumspect with the types of conversations you get involved in with your coworkers.

StatisticianNaive277 said:

NTA. I don't think HR got the right story. I would talk to HR and ask what the complaint is. I think your coworker might have altered the story a bit.

Everyone was on OP's side for this one. What's your advice for this situation?

Sources: Reddit
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