Man doesn't approve of how girlfriend treats food, 'It was quite offensive.' AITA?
"AITA for getting upset over how my girlfriend treats food?"
My (28M) background: In the house I grew up in, everyone would eat whatever food my parents made and be thankful for it. I can't recall anything bad tasting, but even foods I don't "like" I would just not eat, and never modify them.
It's just the way it's always been. I can't even imagine one of my siblings doing it to my parents, or my parents doing it to one another. Back to my girlfriend (24F): I love her very much, but sometimes she does strange things to food that for whatever reason I can't explain make me just feel unappreciated.
For instance, I bought protein bars coated in dark chocolate. I shared them with her. Later I saw a bunch of them "naked" in a plastic bag. She'd cut off the coating, and lef the center.
She said she doesn't like the center but the chocolate is tasty. I suggested I'd buy her dark chocolate since this is a waste but she said she likes that specific chocolate, and I could eat the center if I'd like. No, I don't want to eat just the center, I want to enjoy the entire protein bar...his gives me Cartman and KFC episode vibes.
Another example from today - I made chicken curry. She had it before, and she said she really liked it. Today, I walk in to her washing the cooked chicken bits and rinsing them in water. I was really confused.
She started laughing and said "don't look at me". I didn't find it funny, it was quite offensive. It was a waste of food and just disrespect to my cooking. This started an argument which led to her crying.
There have been more examples similar to those which I can't remember for now. She has the right to eat her food in any way she wants it, but this doesn't change the fact that I find it upsetting when she wastes food and messes with my cooking.
I asked her how would she feel if I did the same with her cooking, to which she responded with "I'd want you to enjoy the food in the way you like it" (no, not really. She once got upset because I added salt to a dish she made). So...AITA?
Here's what the top commenters had to say:
Major-Garden-904 said:
NTA. Washing the sauce off the chicken you cooked or eating just the chocolate off a bunch of your protein bars is just very ill mannered. If you were raised better than this and find these small things disrespectful but she doesn't understand the problem, this is only likely to lead to more disagreements down the line.
What happens if you end up having children together, will you be happy with her parenting them in this same way? If not, perhaps you aren't all that compatible as a serious couple.
duck_ina_bus said:
NTA. If she just told you she didn't like the food or just didn't eat, she wouldn't waste it. Instead she makes these modifications when she could have just asked for the thing on its own.
For example, when she literally started WASHING the chicken, she could have just said 'I don't like this, can you make some chicken on its own?'. You should gently tell her to please not waste food. However, I can understand how you two probably grew up in different households but she still shouldn't waste or disrespect the food that YOU made.
TurboMooseCat said:
NTA. Modifications aren't the end of the world, but your girlfriend's extent of them is strange. Aren't protein bars a bit costly? If she's going to only eat the chocolate off of them, that'd be annoying. Just have her find a similar chocolate. She's doing too much.
As for the curry, again, modifications aren't the end of the world. But washing the chicken off? That's crazy. Unless she specifically asked you not to cook the chicken or something and she had it set for another dish, it's wild to just destroy what you made like that. Especially when she can't take even a mild dose of the same treatment back.
ShaneVis said:
NTA --- This is where you suggest that she start cooking for herself so she can have her food how she likes it.
thedoctormarvel said:
NTA. Who wants to eat parts of snacks that someone has already touched all over? Your GF is kinda gross in that respect. The washing of the chicken is absolutely rude. If you don’t like my food you don’t eat it.
Incidentally, when my cousin was 5-6 she used to also wash the chicken after my aunt cooked curry. It was too spicy for her as a kid. 30+yrs later and we still make fun of her for that.