Man gives GF ultimatum: 'stop checking my work or I won't do the dishes.' AITA?

"AITA for refusing to do the dishes until my girlfriend stops double-checking my work?"

We moved in together last month. She likes to cook and is good at it, so our original agreement was she would cook and I would do the dishes. That’s fair. Except that every single time I did the dishes she would pretty much “check” on my work, like following behind me after I started the load.

And sometimes she would unload it and reload it the way she thought it was appropriate. And whenever I was hand washing, she always insisted in being there and inspecting everything that wasn’t up to her standard.

So I finally had enough and told her that I won’t be doing dishes anymore if that’s how things will go. Or I can cook for myself and do my own dishes that she won’t get to touch (she can have her separate dishes). She said she was just trying to be helpful and that I was rude and sort of an AH for what I said and the way I said it.

Here's what people had to say to OP:

RadiantGrocery1889 said:

Don’t give her a reason to double check. Do it right the first time.

ChicknSoop said:

YTA, do you really think she WANTS to be double checking it? It's because you're doing a crap job potentially, my ex was the exact same way. She couldn't wash dishes for crap, and I ended up having to take dishes OUT of the dishwasher to scrub them and rewash them.

It was a pain in the butt. If you do them right the first time, she won't hound you. This is something you learn growing up around your parents.

Impressive-Rock-2279 said:

So you’re upset that your weaponized incompetence isn’t working properly and she’s calling out your BS? YTA.

niabz said:

YTA. You can't have a mantrum and refuse to do tasks in the house because someone made a comment about you cleaning them properly. You obviously haven't been loading the dishwasher correctly if she has been restacking it. It's very frustrating to women when we have to come and redo your work.

You should talk to her about it and say that you don't appreciate it, but if there is a way she wants it done, ask her what that way is and then start that. Throwing your toys out the pram because you're being corrected and saying you're going to refuse to pull your weight as a result is just childish and not productive.

razzledazzle626 said:

ESH. She’s being annoying but it sounds like you aren’t cleaning fully. Do the dishes well, and she needs to chill.

Some-Energy-9070 said:

NTA. When my husband does the dishes I leave him to it, she’s being controlling. Your girlfriend needs to understand that just because you might load a dishwasher differently doesn’t mean it’s wrong.

bellegroves said:

Her standard is clean dishes, man. How is that not also your standard? YTA.