Man gives girlfriend ultimatum: 'I'm not losing $2,500 dollars because you hate Harry Potter.' AITA?
"AITA for telling my girlfriend she can't force me to cancel my vacation and lose $2,500 because she hates Harry Potter?"
I 27M and my girlfriend 27F have been together for 4 years now. I've always wanted to visit Universal Orlando to see the Wizarding World of Harry Potter but I'd never been able to justify it financially.
My dad died recently and I got an inheritance in his will, not life changing money, but enough to pay off my debts and have something left over. So I decided to book a trip for Universal, and I was lucky enough to get tickets for their new park as well.
My best friend loves Star Wars, and so do I so we decided we'd go together and split time between Universal and Disney World because we probably wouldn't have the chance to go again anytime soon.
I told my girlfriend this upfront and she said she was excited for us but didn't want to go because she doesn't support Harry Potter because of Rowling and her views on LGBT people.
She was fine with it until she found out Rowling is apparently using her fortune to fund anti Trans campaigns and she started screaming at me about supporting Transphobia.
Her younger brother is Trans so Trans rights are extremely important to her, which makes sense. Early in our relationship we basically agreed that I could do whatever I wanted regarding Harry Potter but she wouldn't join in. It's never been a problem until now.
During the discussion she tells me I'm not allowed to go because it'd be supporting Rowling which is supporting anti Trans people and not supporting her brother. I said honey I understand what you're saying, but if I cancel I can't get my money back.
When I booked the trip, I booked with a trip planner and they said explicitly my tickets are non refundable. I can change the dates if I need to cancel my initial trip, but I won't be refunded if I cancel and don't show up.
My plane tickets, hotel, and park tickets are ALL non refundable. I've spent about $2500 on this trip, I can't justify wasting that kind of money, and she knows that. But she says it doesn't matter, it's not about the money--it's about the principle and I'm not allowed to go.
I respect what she's saying and where she's coming from, but I'm not throwing away that kind of money. And she can't just ban me from going somewhere, I'm an adult just like she is and I can make my own decisions.
I feel bad because I see both sides, on my end I'm not willing to just lose almost 3 grand. On her end she wants to support her brother. I want to be considerate and respect her wishes, but that'd make me lose thousands of dollars, and I'm not sure if I'm just hung up on the money part instead of how she feels. AITA?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
alicat777777 said:
“Not allowed” to go. You are adult and you should not allow someone to control you. She can make her argument and decide her views but you decide on your own. NTA.
No_Amoeba_142 said:
I mean 3/4 of that park have nothing to do with Harry Potter and neither does Disney world so...NTA. You’re not “allowed?" That’s a hard nope for me. Enjoy your trip. Find a new girlfriend.
TiffanyJessy said:
Your girlfriend's trying to control your choices and money. You already agreed she wouldn't join. Losing $2500 for a trip you've always wanted, especially using inheritance, is unreasonable. You're allowed to make your own decisions.
RevolutionaryDiet686 said:
NTA. You can spend your money how you want. She is not in control of that. If this is her hill to die on maybe she is not the person to spend your life with.
jrm1102 said:
NTA - you're right, she cant ban you from going. But this also may be important enough to her that she ends your relationship.
Doggedart said:
NTA. You've already paid a non-refundable amount, so you're already supporting Rowling. The owners care about the money, not that one additional person walks through the gate.
And your girlfriend is trying to control you. Sure, she can make her displeasure known, set a boundary, or leave the relationship, but telling another adult they can't do something is not ok. You're not a child.