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Man is hospitalized 3X after fiancé's shocking confession ruins their engagement. AITA? MAJOR UPDATE.

Man is hospitalized 3X after fiancé's shocking confession ruins their engagement. AITA? MAJOR UPDATE.


When this man's entire world comes crashing down, he asks Reddit:

"My gf ruined our engagement with a confession and no one cares about me. You know what? F you all. AITA?"

Me and my ex (Dana) have been together for 7 years and i knew that she was bisexual by the beginning and she openly told me about her past relationships with girls but i never cared because to it wasn't a problem at all.

We never had any big fight or arguments but just small things and we always sorted out everything.

So after 7 years of relationship i decided that it was the right moment to make the big question because we were deeply in love, financially stable and already living together so for me it was the right time.

I prepared everything to make it more romantic and unique as i could and when i made her the final question she hesitated but then said yes.

There the problem started cause i didn't understood why that hesitation and i asked her but she only replaid "i was nervous" so i gave up.

We told this to her parents (mine died when i was 20 and my little sister when she was 17 in a car accident) and our friends but even here some things were off because her parents were faking to be happy and i didn't understood why while our friends were super happy and were already telling us ideas for our wedding.

4 months passed by and we were planning our wedding when "the day" came up. I came back home from work and she waiting for me with her bags ready and i asked her what was going on.

She told me "listen i know that this is gonna be hard for you but i'm not bi i'm lesbian. My parents knew this since 2 years and this is why they weren't happy and were faking it.

Please i beg you to not make it difficult and just let me leave, don't cry, don't beg me and don't scream let's just things go like adults" and then she drove away.

I was standing there on my feet for like 1 hour in shock cause i couldn't believe it. We passed by getting married to Dana coming out like a heartless and cold girl that i couldn't recognize.

The worst thing comes now cause 3 months passed by that day (i cancelled the wedding) and literally no one ever texted me or called me asking me how i was, if i was fine, if i nedeed something just nothing.

Not her parents, not her (she blocked me that day) and not even our firends. No one gives a f about me at all. In this 3 months i was hospitalized 3 times cause i lost weight (15 kg) and have insomnia.

I just work and come home, nothing else. While everyone is praising her for her coming out, how good is she to finally realize she was lesbian and her courage to be herself after years of fighting to find her true identity.

Right now i'm not even capable of being mad i'm just in desbelief for what happened, how fast it all happened and no one gives a f about me because her coming out is more important than her ex.

You know what? F them all, they showed me their true color and f my ex.

Before we give you OP's update, let's take a look at some of the top responses:

bubblychest7 writes:

SHE KNEW FOR 2 YEARS AND STRUNG YOU ALONG?! I’m bi and this is utter garbage! She should not be being praised for knowing and stringing you along because that’s what she did.

“Well she didn’t want anyone knowing why you guys broke up” she could’ve broke up with you 2 years ago when she came out to her parents and everyone could’ve just been told it didn’t work out.

She’s selfish for that. She wasted your time and did something cruel to you. I would cut off all your “friends” because they don’t care about you.

Tell them that you have been hospitalized and that she’s known and been out for two years and you need people who actually care about you in your life. And then block them. Give them no chance to explain. As a member of the lgbtq myself this is just gross what she did.

speakingtoidiots writes:

As if coming out somehow undoes the hurt caused and the time stolen. Knowing for two years and you being the last to find out are not the actions of a loving individual. Her sexuality is irrelevant to her actions.

She strung you along never communicated the way she was feeling or having doubts. She lived with you, engaged and never sought your council never confided in you. She is a coward.

Walking out, callous, cold, calculated tells me she prepared well in advance. She was finished grieving the process before she even allowed you to start. OP the way she went about it is horrible but ultimately it would be worse if she married you knowing how she felt.

You will heal. You did not deserve this. Ultimately she could not help it. Asking for you to go about this as adults is the exact antithesis of the process she allowed herself.

hauntedmike writes:

Being a lesbian didn't make her a bitter cold self centered asshole. She just was one. She had ample time to talk to you and not blindside you entirely and she willingly chose to do this in the most painful way she could think of.

You are truly better off without her and her next partner is in for a rude awakening when she flip flops on them too.

You are going to find love again and things will be okay. You got this my man. I had someone waste 6 years of my time. basically just used me for rent for the later part of the relationship and after I proposed she got her shit in order to split with another dude asap.

Betrayal always stings but it lead me to meet my now fiance and my god you have no idea what a good relationship is like until you meet someone who actually likes you.

shinynew writes:

OP, it sounds like you are very isolated. Your edit expressing disbelief that people would agree that what your ex did was cruel and unfair is... upsetting. YOU AREN'T THE PROBLEM.

Your ex behaved selfishly and cruelly by stringing you along instead of being honest with you. If someone is gay, they're gay. Nothing YOU can do could change that. She likes women. You are not a woman. That's it, full stop. It has nothing to do with your worth as a human being.

It sounds like you really need to find some new friends to get some sense of community. You seem to ruminate to an extreme degree and you need to get out of your own head and gain some perspective.

Your ex's selfish behaviour isn't a reflection of you or your worth as a human being. What she did was shitty.

You need to find a new group of people who maybe share hobbies or other interests with you so you can get exposure to people who aren't ignorant or intensely selfish. Your ex definitely failed you, and it sounds like what friends you had also failed you, too. Badly.

Instead of distrusting everyone and refusing to believe anyone would have a compassionate word for you, you need to leave yourself open to new experiences and new friendships.

It's not easy, but it sounds like you're in a really bad spot and you need help climbing out of that hole.

Seek therapy if you can - not because you're fd up, but because you're displaying troubling patterns of thinking which are keeping you trapped in a negative headspace.

A professional can help you find your way out of all of that negativity. They can help you learn helpful, positive coping mechanisms and more effective ways to deal with stress and difficult emotions.Good luck, OP. Try to have some faith in yourself.

supermarker8 writes:

F that bit... and her awful family. What is more sad is that your friends or family didn't even ask for any help. That is awful, they are not your friends. Search for new, go find a hobby and focus on yourself, f anyone else.

You, alone YOU can fix things, focus on yourself, hit gym and try to find happiness.. Believe me things will go better, 10years later you will have a great family while your ex will move from one shitty relationship to another.

useweekly writes:

I’ve seen a few situations like this. It seems like if the person administering the horrible behavior is gay/of an alternative sexual identity, they are more prone to being let off the hook.

My mom knew she was gay her whole life and married my dad. Multiple people say, “times were different then.” Yep, maybe so, but she didn’t have to take decades of someone else’s life to make herself more comfortable.

Your pain matters, your wasted time matters. You should be pissed. This is the epitome of selfishness and narcissism. Just because someone is LGBTQ doesn’t mean they are angels. Just because you’re a man doesn’t mean your feelings aren’t insanely valid.

spitefulsprite7 writes:

Buddy, I am sorry no one asked... Let me be a friend.. Are you okay? I know things are really painful, but how do you think you're holding up to this?

I am so sorry that she and others didn't even have the decency to be compassionate or empathic to you. I know things are tough, and maybe even lonely, but you have kindred spirits here with you, and we are proud of your strength to push on... Even though this is incredibly painful.

Do you think things are getting better as time goes on? What are your thoughts on speaking with a professional about processing this hurt?

I hope you continue to push on and stay strong. I am sorry she hurt you like that and that people in your life failed you. I hope you find truly new and amazing people to surround yourself with.

Then, OP provides this update (trigger warning):

wtf?! I just turned off my phone for 2 hours and went for a walk around my city. Honestly i wasn't expecting all this support because i couldn't even imagine someone actually reading this.

Believe me i want to trust you and believe that all this kind comments are true but right now i can't. I just saw everyone that supposed to love me and care about me ignoring me and ghosting me so i lost hope in people and expecially for strangers on the internet.

I hope to come here again in a few months and read this all again and believe you but now i can't. You all seem good people and sincere but believe me for how much i want to trust you i simply can't right now but i want to thank you all anyway.

I'm not ok and the 3 times i was hospitalized i tried to kill myself but i'm not good even in doing that. For 3 months i thought again and again and again if i was the problem, what i could do better? What i did wrong?

But nothing changes. So here i'm in the midlle of fg nowhere seated on a sidewalk like a homeless reading strangers comments on a post that i don't even know why i posted. Again thank you all.

Readers continued to give OP advice:

bubblywrite writes:

I am so angry for you. I wish I could give you a hug. What she did SUCKED. It was absolutely awful -- and so was how everyone else has treated you.

You have every right to grieve and feel however you want to feel. You need to protect yourself, though. Lock down your social media to friends only.

Block her. Yes, she blocked you, but she could undo it in the future. Block phone, email, and all social media. Block her family and all those former friends. Don't explain why. Just block them all EVERYWHERE.

If you aren't in therapy, find an awesome therapist who can help you navigate this. Hit the gym. Seriously, endorphins are going to help. Looking good will also help you feel good.

Join some meet-up groups for your hobbies and make some new friends. You don't need to date. Just have FUN and meet new people.

Never mention her name or those "friends" again. If they come up in conversation just shrug and dismiss them like dog shit on the sidewalk. That's all they are.

Poor OP. Any advice for him?

Sources: Reddit
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