"AITA for throwing a party to announce my engagement?"
I (22m) have an older sister, Sarah (26f). Me and Sarah aren't close, and our relationship is pretty rocky. I recently got engaged to my fiance, Andrew (23m), and we decided to host a family gathering at our place to announce the engagement. We had dinner with mine and Andrew's families, and it was honestly nice to catch up with everyone.
I wasn't going to announce the engagement until during dessert, but Sarah saw the ring on my finger and she began screaming. And I'm talking, full on, screaming, like, literal screeching. Everyone was staring at her in shock, I mean, this is a 26-year-old-adult-woman, screeching like a toddler who didn't get what they wanted, of course they were staring.
I asked her what the hell was wrong, and she started yelling about how it's not fair, and that I always get everything, I asked her to elaborate and she pointed at the ring and said "I got broken up with and YOU got engaged?! It's not fair! I deserve to have a ring, not you. It should've been me getting engaged first! You took that from me! It's not fair."
She started to cry, and started calling me names, and a bunch of homophobic slurs. I stared at her, because honestly, what was I supposed to do? Andrew had enough though, and he told her to leave. She started to cry more and my mom had to drag her out of the house.
I was still shocked, and staring at the door, until my aunt congratulated me and Andrew on the engagement, which was clearly an attempt at lightening up the mood. It worked, though, because everyone started chatting again.
I thought that was the end of it and that maybe my sister was just drunk or something, but nope, the next day she's calling and texting me about how "I'm the worst brother ever" and how she wishes I was never born. I'm starting to feel bad, because she honestly doesn't seem okay, and that maybe I shouldn't have announced my engagement at all. AITA?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
Very-last-boyscout said:
NTA. Your sister's got some serious issues. She should seek professional help. Btw, congratulations on your engagement. They way both of you handled this terrible situation tells me, you and your husband-to-be will have a great life together.
boredathome1962 said:
NTA. Oh gosh, she's not got main character syndrome, it's Only character syndrome... No one else matters, nothing else matters, it's all got to be about her. You did well, you didn't punch her, you just told her to go. Now, tell her to keep on going, further, further...I can still hear you...Congratulations on your engagement, and tell Mom to get sister some help 'cos you're not going to see her until she does.
No_Heat2305 said:
NTA - sorry you have a sibling like that. Enjoy your engagement and congratulations on such an amazing step in your life.
Funny-Wafer1450 said:
NTA, and I’m not surprised that you have a rocky relationship with her. She sounds exhausting.
BeardManMichael said:
NTA. Your sister's definitely not okay but that's definitely not something that should have affected your plans whatsoever. If you want to be a saint you can do your best to make sure your sister does get some help. That kind of outburst that she had is definitely not normal and definitely something that she will need to address.
You don't owe her any help whatsoever. I hope she gets the help she needs regardless. Congrats on your engagement by the way. I'm really happy that everyone had your back in that incredibly awkward situation.
Piavirtue said:
NTA. Your sister was so far out of line with that public meltdown that I have to think some serious mental health issues are going on. I have know of siblings who got angry that someone got engaged or married first.
That is jealousy and it does not spill over to screaming matches. Something happened to your sister and I am thinking it was a relationship that crashed and burned. She could have been drunk and went way over the top ballistic.
She might need professional involvement. Bring it up with parents. Congratulations and Best Wish on your engagement. Much happiness in your future.