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Man is asked to apologize for being a bully and responds with 'I don't know you.'

Man is asked to apologize for being a bully and responds with 'I don't know you.'


Kids will bully each other. It's the unfortunate reality of growing up. As people grow up, many realize what they did was wrong and feel remorse, while others don't believe it was wrong. Then some don't even remember if they did it.

On a popular Reddit thread in the Am I the A**hole Subreddit, a man is accused of bullying and doesn't even remember the man accusing him of doing so.

He writes:

I [22M] am not a bully. I had friends growing up who were bullied. I saw how bad it could be on someone and never wanted to be the cause of that. I'll try to portray the incident as best I can. I was visiting my parents and went into town to run a few errands. In town, I was approached by a man I didn't recognize.

He was initially friendly and greeted me with, 'Hey, are you [my name]?' Me: 'Yeah, I am. Do we know each other?' Drew: 'I'm Drew Smith. We used to go to school together.' Despite him saying otherwise, I couldn't recall anyone by that name. I responded, 'Hey, I'm sorry, man, but I don't recognize you.'

I then started chuckling out of embarrassment since I didn't know how to react. Drew didn't like that very much since his whole demeanor changed quickly. He asked me much more coldly, 'Ohh, then I guess you also don't remember how you used to treat me like sh*t when we were kids, huh?'

That caught me off guard, and I couldn't respond with anything besides a confused, 'What?' Drew started going off on me, claiming that I would purposefully exclude him when we were kids. I had convinced others to do the same and that teachers had to forcefully assign him during group projects because no one would willingly accept him. That no one would play with him during recess or after school, so he had no friends growing up, and it was all my fault.

I was utterly shocked and denied it, stating I had never done that because I hadn't. This made him madder, and he started accusing more loudly, saying things like 'Yes, you f*cking did!' and 'Why don't you just f*cking admit it already and apologize?' By this point, we were getting people's attention, and I was afraid someone would call the cops. I decided to leave, but felt like I needed to get a jab in and said, 'Look, man, I'm sorry school was so sh*tty for you, but if you were anything like you are now, you probably deserved it.'

In hindsight, I really should have just walked away, but I was getting angry, and it felt good. Drew started yelling after me even louder, but luckily he didn't try to follow me. I told them what had happened when I got to my parent's home. They were also surprised about the whole exchange and couldn't recall any friend of mine named Drew. My mom then started teasing me a bit, saying I've always been pretty reserved, and if I was ever a d*ck to someone, they probably had it coming.

Despite the reassurance, I can't help but feel somewhat guilty about the whole exchange. Drew was convinced that I was his childhood bully for some reason, despite me not remembering him at all. Seeing how worked up he got, should I have pretended to apologize? It seemed to me like it would have at least avoided that whole fiasco, even if I'm sure I had nothing to do with it. Was I the a**hole in how I handled the situation?

The internet is well-versed in the matter of bullying.

UnquantifiableLife says:

There was a story like this a few months ago. A girl was accusing her BF's sister of being her bully. The sister thought she was losing her mind because she didn't remember at all. She held her ground and the GF eventually admitted she was blaming the wrong person. I think if you really were a bully, you wouldn't be trying so hard to figure out what actually happened. NTA (Not the A**hole) forget about this crazy person.

cuomi1996 says:

I'll go with ESH (Everyone Sucks Here) (or possibly NAH). It was a long time ago, so you may not remember. It's also possible that he perceived certain things you did differently. Or that things you did had an unintended negative impact on him.

The situation is that he was clearly hurt and even recognized you. Whether you remember or not, or even intended to bully or not. You should have just said: I don't remember anything, but I am sorry if I ever hurt you. Not throw a jab at him for speaking what his truth is.

my_100th_acc says:

Here’s the thing about bullying/abuse. (Not saying you did bully Drew). It may be another Tuesday for the bully, but for the abused, it will be a day that impacted his entire life. Drew shouldn’t have been a d*ck about it. But you didn’t have to be either. ESH. The conversation could’ve gone much more civil.

Well, OP, if you didn't bully that guy when you were younger you certainly did at the grocery store.

Sources: Reddit
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