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Man refuses to pay for friend's unemployed wife's dinner; couple is 'appalled.'

Man refuses to pay for friend's unemployed wife's dinner; couple is 'appalled.'


Splitting the check for a group dinner is almost always a messy endeavor unless you run in circles of incredibly wealthy people who don't look at price tags...

Sometimes it makes more sense to split the check equally, but what about if everyone got 3 fancy cocktails each and all you chomped on was a little side salad? Or, what do you do when you're out with a married couple and you're expected to split the check two ways?

When a frustrated 'third wheel' decided to consult the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit's 'Am I the As*hole' about an awkward check-splitting situation, people were quick to help deem a verdict.

"AITA (Am I the A#*&ole) for refusing to pay half of my friends wife's meals anymore?"

I (28M) have have 2 friends dee (27F), and Tommy (29M). We've known each other since middle school and make a point to make time to keep in touch and eat out at least once a month but often twice. We live a 40 minute drive apart but it's worth it to keep the friendship alive. This died down during the pandemic but we're back at it semi regularly again.

I am single, aromantic. they've never made me feel like a third wheel this isn't a date I'm invading, it's decompression time for friends to have a nice meal and maybe a few drinks. After the pandemic Dee never went back to working, they both seem to be okay with this and she enjoys the house making life. That's their thing not my problem.

The problem is that when the bill comes tommy asks for it to be split 2 ways, or it will just be split that way because only 2 of us walked up to the pay counter. First few times I shrugged it off half of her meal comes to less than 7 bucks and I usually have a (singular) beer while they have soda so my portion is probably 2-3 bucks higher anyway.

It all came to a head this weekend when we went to a nicer place that just opened in the area, at 50ish dollars a head I couldn't help but speak up when he tried to tell the waitress to split the bill 2 ways.

I did the math at the table and just what I had came up to 67 dollars, a third of the total bill was 71. I told him I'd either pay a third even though it's more than my portion or just go dutch. I didn't care either way since it was close.

He was absolutely appalled, told me it was embarrassing that I had done all this in front of Dee knowing that she wasn't working and made a snide remark about how I make more than him anyway.

To his snide remark I said something I maybe shouldn't have, about the fact that I'm not the one who married her so why should I subsidize her unless she's coming home with me half the time.

I paid my portion and left, now he's texting me incessantly about how I embarrassed the f*^k out of him in front of his wife and I should have been a man about the situation and split the bill between the men like is 'proper to do.' The more I think back, the more I realize this has happened since college too. He and I would split the cost for pizza and she would come eat too.

You can call me TA for what I said I'll accept that but AITA for settling the bill in front of her? She's known me just as long as he has. Maybe I should have just paid it then and settled it later.

Of course, the jury of internet strangers was eager to weigh in on this bill drama. Here's what people had to say...

choppyfloppy8 said:

NTA (Not the As^*@ole) it's rude for your friend to expect this from you.

Suzdg said:

NTA for not wanting to pay more than ones share, but I am confused as to why OP didn’t just ask for separate checks at the fancy restaurant. Simple solution.

OkCaterpillar7770 said:

NTA. If there's a next time, order a bunch of stuff to take home right at the end and then before the waiter walks away, tell him/her that you'll be splitting the bill 2 ways.

madelinegumbo said:

NTA. My husband doesn't work because it's what we both agreed on. When we go out with others, we pay for both our meals...what your friend expects makes zero sense. Obviously you will either pay 1/3rd or just your bill.

corgihuntress said:

NTA You didn't do this 'in front 'of her. She's fully participating by knowing she's eating and knowing her husband has no intention of paying their proper percentage. Why on earth would anybody think they are entitled to have someone else pay for them? That's utterly ridiculous.

So, there you have it!

Everyone agreed unanimously here that this man wasn't at all wrong for standing up for himself and refusing to pay for his wife's friend's dinner. Especially since it seems like Dee isn't particularly grateful that she gets a free meal every time they hang out, this bill situation was bound to blow up sooner or later. Good luck, everyone!

Sources: Reddit
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