Man is mean to GF after her behavior at a wedding. AITA?
"AITA For being mean to my gf (28F) after what happened at a wedding?"
I've been with my girlfriend for a few months now. She's struggled with addiction in the past and often takes Valium. Recently we were at a wedding with my daughter (I am single father, my daughter is 13).
My gf left her phone at home, so I said I would quickly drive her to her house (I was sober, she was not) and she could get it, but my daughter lost her bag so I was helping her look for it.
In that time, she drove home on her motorbike without me knowing. She's crashed many times in the past and is really clumsy so I was obviously quite worried.
She messaged me and had gotten home safely, and was telling me she'd get a taxi back to the wedding. But then out of nowhere, she stopped replying. I rang her numerous times and sent her many messages, thinking she'd jumped on her motorbike again and crashed.
After more than an hour with no response, I had to leave my daughter on her own at the wedding to drive to my gf's house to see if she was there or not. She was there, passed out on the bed.
I woke her up and told her she was irresponsible and promptly left. I shouted at her because I'd had to leave my daughter alone and she'd driven drunk. Then she messaged me saying that she "Will not be called irresponsible," and "Goodbye".
Later she met up with her friend (28f) and she advised that she should end it with me.
The following day she came round, we talked and I actually did end things at one point, but then reneged on it. It's been rocky in the day that's past since then.
I think one thing I said that really struck a nerve was "You need to fg grow up and stop making your problems everybody else's." AITA?
Let's see what readers thought:
godmother007 writes:
NTA- Look, I understand if you want to be supportive of somebody who has prior addictions, but it sounds like she's still struggling with them.
You have a 13-year-old daughter, who is going to at some point, look up at your relationship and who you have chosen as a significant other and that will be the example you have set for her.
I don't think having an irresponsible drug addict in your home who is willing to put themselves and others in danger for the sake of a cell phone, by driving home drunk, is the example you should be setting. Don't get back together with her, move on and find somebody worthy of your time.
mnobdy6 writes:
YTA if you stay with her. You understand you are putting your daughter at risk right? You are showing her that it is ok to be in this kind of relationship. You are saying her parents were addicts, you realize this is genetic right?
So lets bring her around another addict even though you saved her from 1 you brought her to another. Then you said its ok to be treated and to treat others this way. In addition you have no idea if this GF will ever drive drunk with your daughter, since she has no care for herself and has done this several times do you think for one second she will give 2 fs about your daughter?
Really you need to step up and stop this madness and walk away. You need therapy to look for these red flags so you don't gravitate towards them. If your mom treated you this way, you will be inclined to go for what you know and you know how to manage this situation but you should not manage a relationship you should share in it.
faihn writes:
ESH. It's not mean to break up. Breaking up is part of dating/being in a relationship. it is an acceptable outcome.
it IS mean to date addicts and let their irresponsible behavior impact your child. YTA.
You chose to date an addict. The addict chooses to be irresponsible (surprise surprise). Your daughter faces the consequences from the two idiot adults choices.
visong writes:
Why was a girlfriend you’ve had for a few months at a wedding with you? ESH here for obvious reasons. You for putting your daughter in an unsafe environment.