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Man kicks brother-in-law out of BBQ because he talks too much about his sobriety.

Man kicks brother-in-law out of BBQ because he talks too much about his sobriety.


Being sober is a common way of life for many people. Substance abuse is an unhealthy coping mechanism for so many people, so kudos to those that take the steps they need to stay mentally, physically, and emotionally healthy through sobriety. Not everyone may be as supportive of people changing and getting the help they need

One man has no sympathy for his sober brother-in-law on a popular Reddit thread in the Am I the A**hole Subreddit.

He writes:

I (31m) and my wife Gal (30f) recently bought our first house, and yesterday, we hosted our first big BBQ with both sides of the family and friends.

Gal's brother Jim (26m) has been sober for five months (alcohol and Xanax mostly). I don't like Jim. Besides that, he's generally annoying; he struggled with his drinking and pills for many years and did all kinds of f*cked up sh*t to everyone around him.

Lots of theft and trespassing to keep it brief. He's sober now, lives with his (Gal's) mom, and I guess he is 'getting his life together,' though he still isn't working or dealing with his court stuff, so I don't know what that entails.

He's become insufferable in his sobriety. Everything is about Jesus or gravity, which I could make peace with, but he also has made it a habit of trying to 'save' everyone around him from the dangers of alcohol.

Every visit turns into a sermon or him walking around asking personal questions about people's drinking habits. Insisting they need to reconsider their relationship with alcohol.

I specifically told Gal that if Jim were invited to this BBQ, she would call Jim and tell him that we wanted NONE of his preaching there. She got on the phone with him but was beating around the bush, so I asked her to put it on speaker and told him, 'Jim, you are invited, but you will NOT talk about sobriety unprompted to any guests.

You're not a doctor or a counselor or anything, so don't. I don't want to hear a word.' Both Gal and Jim said they understood.

Well, the BBQ starts. Everyone is having a good time, and my uncle shows up. I offer him a beer, and he says, ' After this week, I need something stronger, boy. Where's the brown stuff?'

On f*cking cue, Jim says, 'I don't know. Concerning that, that's how you choose to deal with a bad week, no?' I say, 'Hey Jim, how about you grab your stuff and get out of here.' He says, 'Oh c'mon, I didn't mean it like that.'

I say, 'JIM, I'm not asking you twice. Get the hell out of here. I've known this man my whole life, and you just called him a drunk in front of my family so that you can leave.' He tried to defend himself, saying, 'I asked for NOT A WORD Jim.'

Everyone says I'm the AH for not giving them a chance or letting him apologize, but I think I was clear enough. So AITA?

The internet will decide in-law drama.

FresaNova says:

NTA (Not the A**Hole). He was warned. This is your event and home. How else is he going to learn that you're serious?

I wonder how he'd react if every time he tries to preach someone's brings up that no one else has felt the need to also become addicted to drugs and committing actual crimes.

lbrownlbrown says:

NTA, but you didn't want him there because you don't like him, so you shouldn't have invited him in the first place.

AdOne8433 says:

NTA. This is about intention. BIL didn't attend to enjoy a social gathering. He came to preach, judge, and condemn. His 'recovery journey' is an ego trip.

He was not there to catch up with family, talk, and laugh. He was there to cast the sinners down and shine his divine light upon the ignorant masses. He is the textbook definition of insufferable.

You don't owe anyone an invite. Why would you tolerate someone whose only desire is to rain on your parade?

OP, it's like my parents used to say, 'My house, my rules' (I hated their rules).

Sources: Reddit
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