Someecards Logo
ADVERTISING
Man kicks wife and baby out after his mom & wife have horrifying altercation; wife finds post, provides SHOCKING response. AITA? UPDATED 3X

Man kicks wife and baby out after his mom & wife have horrifying altercation; wife finds post, provides SHOCKING response. AITA? UPDATED 3X

ADVERTISING

When this man is shocked at his wife's retaliation to his mother, he asks the internet:

"AITA for kicking my wife out out of the house after what she did to my mom?"

My situation went from bad to worse in a matter of a week and I don't know where else to turn. I need to know if I was wrong. Possibly a validation thing because life is dumb right now.

My wife and I have been together for 8 years and she just gave birth to our first (and last) baby 2 months ago. Up until my wife got pregnant, my mom loved her. I'm not sure wtf is wrong with my mom or why the switch happened but after my wife got pregnant, my mom started being very clingy to me and started avoiding my wife at all costs.

Told everyone she wasn't excited about the pregnancy, etc. I threatened to go no contact with her when my wife was about 7 months along and after that she snapped out of it for the most part and stopped being so ignorant. The comments 100% stopped, at least. Though she still was clinging to me.

Now, a week ago my mom, my sister, my sister's husband and my sister's daughter (12) came over for dinner. I prepared the meal. Before my wife could eat anything, our daughter got fussy so my wife excused herself to go feed the baby and get her down to sleep.

I thought I prepared enough but apparently not because my niece was still "starving" (she's 5'5" and 190lbs, I haven't seen her in a year and she was not that size then so I didn't exactly portion in an extra 3 helpings for a child- so it's on me).

I apologized and told her that I hadn't made any more and offered her crackers, as I was putting my wife's portion in the fridge. After that, I just went outside with my sister's husband to smoke a cigarette and shoot the breeze. Didn't think anything of it. But then I hear yelling from inside.

When I walk in, my wife and my mom were screaming at each other. Apparently my mom (who saw me put my wife's food away) gave my niece my wife's portion of food. As I was walking inside, I heard my mom say "looks like you can afford to skip a meal" and slapped my wife's stomach.

Right as soon as I get ready to step in (literally fast walking toward them yelling "enough"), my wife winds back and decks my mother square in the face and drops her.

The whole house went silent outside of my mom crying and holding her face. I tell everyone to "get the f out". Immediately everyone leaves and my wife just turns toward the counter and leans with her hands on the counter and face down, eyes closed.

I look at my wife and say "you too, leave, now." She says "really?" She's crying at this point. I say a clipped "yup". She packs up her and the baby and leaves.

I text her that night and say I just need space. I need to decompress and come to terms with what just happened. She doesn't respond. The next 5 days I'm texting and calling and I get nothing.

She shows up here today (so 8 days later) and hands me divorce paperwork and my baby and says "here, you have a bit to hang out with her while I pack.

Where I'm breastfeeding we can work out a visitation schedule that is either at your place or my mother's until she will take a bottle." I told her that's not what I want. I don't want to separate. I just needed time to process her hitting my mother in the face.

She said "you needing time to process gave me time to process the fact that I refuse to be in this situation any longer. I defended myself. I initially felt bad and remorseful but you making me leave when I needed you made me see more clear. I'm done.

I'm sorry for what I did but there's no fixing this." She refused to speak to me at all the rest of the time that she was here. My house feels so empty and I don't know what to do. AITA for making her leave after she h%t my mom? I just needed some space.

I know the my wife's post-partum stomach was involved, but she had to go. This fight brought up my PTSD. Now she wants a divorce and my mother wants to get the cops involved. What a mess… AITA?

Before we give you OP's and OP's WIFE's updates, let's take a look at some of the top responses:

bonm writes:

YTA where to begin!? First off, your Mother harassed your wife for 7 MONTHS just for being pregnant, before you took action. Your Wife went to breastfeed your child, and your Mother stole her food.

Your Mother of all people should understand how women who breastfeed need to keep their milk supply up and need to eat regularly. Instead of apologizing for stealing your poor wife’s food, she slaps her stomach and says she can afford to skip a meal….

When your Wife finally stands up for herself, because you didn’t do so sufficiently.. you kick her out of her house and effectively, since she’s breastfeeding your BABY?!!! If you needed space, YOU should have left.

It sounds like you were fine when your Wife was dealing with you and your families BS, but you couldn’t handle that she (finally) punched your Mommy?

Dude you’re not getting her back. Best advice, give your Wife what she wants in the divorce. You owe her that after everything you put her through. Smh

auraor6 writes:

This. The mother abused the wife first and with a hit to her two months postpartum belly that (and I read through the comments, but couldn't see) could be a c-section which is unbelievably worse... but still a body/uterus that went through trauma if vaginally delivered and isn't recovered yet.

Not to mention the breastfeed just before where she dropped nutrients, gave her body to her baby, and was likely hungry due to literally feeding THEIR baby. I'd like op to get hooked up to one of the machines that only delivers the men contractions, not even birth and get a swat taken at him by his strongest friend.

OP you dug your bed, lay in it and enjoy your cold bed in the home you were supposed to share in sickness and health, the loss of who was supposed to be your "person" or "other half", enjoy having your baby on weekends with right of first....

refusal because hopefully your soon to be ex wife knows about that clause and your mother can't steal her "do-over" baby when you're busy with work because you need to pay your child support.

Way to go, "Dad". You were as emotionally unsupportive to your wife as your own father was physically abusive to your mother. Your mother was physically abusive to your WIFE. You don't deserve shit, let alone forgiveness.

If you need to work on the traumatic things you went through, get some goddamned therapy. IT IS NOT YOUR PARTNER'S JOB TO FIX YOU. You've done and gone fucked around and found out... I'd wish OP luck but...

I really don't and I wish for a fair judge who isn't ruled by emotion for the soon to be ex wife.

blank6 writes:

YTA. You needed to put work into yourself a LOOOONG time ago. There is nowhere in the multiverse that I would not go homicidal on someone, my mother or not, who dared assault my postpartum spouse.

Forget your wife punching your mother, your gut immediate reaction the SECOND your mother laid a finger on your wife should have been instant intervention.

That second that you say there was between your mother striking your wife's stomach and your wife winding back to punch her was your opening. Your wife should have never gotten as far as she did because YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THERE.

Even if you could not have made it across the room in time, that should have been when your best impression of a military sergeant came out of your mouth to tell your mother what a piece of shit she was and to get the f out of your house, because she was permanently uninvited from your life. You didn't.

Want to know why? Because I bet that this actually isn't the first occasion mommy-dearest has gone off the rails, it's just the most egregious one, and you have been groomed to enable and ignore her behaviour previously.

What would have happened if your wife hadn't hit her? If she had burst into tears instead?

Let me guess, you'd have been mad at your mom for a while, maybe kicked her out or sent her angry messages, and then in another few weeks her constant drip of "oh, she's over reacting" would have worn you down and you would have asked your wife to give her another chance. Again.

Because let me be clear, you say she "stopped" the unacceptable behaviour previously? That wasn't enough. Because as you can see, your mother didn't mean it, she was just biding her time.

You should have demanded a full grovelling apology from her and then watched her like a hawk for at least a year after. Instead you just told her to stop and then left her unsupervised around your wife like it was all good.

You have likely been stuck in this cycle for a while, maybe even your whole relationship.

Your mother acts out, you scowl or express disapproval, she winds her behaviour back in a bit until the next time, meanwhile your wife stoically deals with being a target the entire time. Sounds like your wife has had enough. Can you blame her?

Yta, BTW. Can you save this? Unlikely, but I will be honest, no woman let's herself be pushed to the point where she has to punch someone in the face to stand up for herself unless she really truly loves the person she's staying for, so now you have to gamble on whether or not you have permanently destroyed that love.

You need to demonstrate that your mother will never, ever be an issue in your wife's life ever again. Offer to move states to somewhere that you will not give the address out for. Cut her off and block her everywhere.

Provide witness statements if your wife wants to press charges. Get a cease and desist. And of course, lots and lots of therapy for you and your marriage. If you feel yourself hesitating on any of those, you know what the problem is, and why she's leaving you.

popjag writes:

OMG, YTA!!!! When I read your mom took your wife’s food, hit your wife in the stomach and made the comment that your WIFE needs to lose weight after giving birth to a baby a few weeks ago my jaw literally fell. Your mom deserved that punch because as always, YOU DID NOTHING.

I’m sure your mom has disrespected your wife many times before this, as she was seriously comfortable doing so.

Then because you are upset, YOU tell your wife and baby to leave as you know that the baby has to be with her. What the F is wrong with you. If anyone left it should have been you. You kicked your wife and baby out. Do you not see how wrong that is? But a real man would have stayed with his wife and made sure that she was okay.

You knew she was at her parents. You should have immediately went to her and apologized profusely and your mother should be permanently banned from you and your baby life. If she can hit your wife, she will hit the baby with the resentment that she had with the pregnancy and the baby.

You have not been a husband to her nor a father. Did your wife go too far with slugging your mother in the face. Yes. But I bet everything that your mom has been saying things and attacking her either behind your back or in front of you. You were more concerned about having a cigarette.

Permanently ban your mom from your life. Your marriage is over. YOU ran it into the ditch on this one when you kicked your wife out. Do not ever allow your mother to see or have any relationship with your daughter or any future children . Ever! Because your mom helped you kill this marriage.

And now, OP's update:

ETA: for the record, I am "team wife". My mom deserved it, wholeheartedly, and I've blocked her completely from my life. I literally just needed time to process what happened. My wife is a lot of things, violent is not one of them.

So this came completely out of left field and would not have happened without her being provoked. After it all happened, my mom sent me a text saying "See! I told you she was crazy! That fat B doesn't belong in **our** life." I'm willing to bet she purposely tried setting my wife off.

So no, I'm on my wife's side 100%. I truly just needed to process what happened and my wife took it as me giving up on her, not defending her and throwing her and our baby out (which did essentially happen because I knew she had to take the baby with her when I kicked her out).

eta: the reason "why": my dad was abusive. I was beat. My sister's and brother were beat. My mom was put in the hospital multiple times. It took years for police to enforce restraining orders and he finally died in 2013.

Vilece scares the f out of me. I clam up and get anxious around violence of any kind now. My wife knows this and she too grew up with a violent dad (step dad) and she gets just as anxious and panicky around violence.

Her punching my mom in the face triggered an anxious response and I needed her gone in that moment. I needed it far away from me. I don't know why I didn't just leave. I could have.

But in that moment I just let my emotions and fear run the whole circus and told everyone to get out, her included. My mom did slap her first.. I guess for some reason I was seeing my wife's punch as being worse than the slap.

It wasn't a hard slap but my wife did kind of wince, looking back on it now. She was fine following but my mom was bleeding. Split her eyebrow open in good shape. Idk.

And now, OP's WIFE'S shocking update:

I’m still grieving at the loss of my marriage, but my friend had notified me about my husband’s post that had too may specific details that were hard to ignore. To clarify, this is my first time on Reddit. I read my soon-to-be ex-husband’s post and wanted to give my side of the story and include details that he didn’t provide in his post.

For those who hadn’t read it, long story short, my husband kicked me out of the house after his mother had physically slapped my stomach in front of him and I punched her in self-defense.

I loved my husband dearly but his lack of action regarding his mother’s behavior was extremely disgusting to say the least, I tolerated his mom’s behavior long enough until I couldn’t take it anymore as he had overlooked his mom’s behavior over and over again that finally I had enough.

I was still recovering after giving birth to his child when his mom slapped my stomach, and my husband exaggerated when he said it wasn’t a hard slap.

The slap itself was hard enough to be heard by everyone in the room. I had lost it at this point when his mother slapped my stomach with a turd eating smirk that wasn’t visible from my husband’s point of view, at least that’s what my husband claimed.

I had a mental breakdown when my husband told me to leave after kicking everyone out of the house, you should have seen his face when he told me to get out with a straight face and without hesitation.

Our baby was crying at this point before I left, and I couldn’t do anything but cry that night after I went to stay with my mother. His mother sent me a text mockingly saying, "I am going to file charges against you for assault, you f@t little wh&re!" Now stay the f out of our lives!"

She ended the text with a smiley face at the end. I was livid and decided I did not want to be associated with this family anymore and served my husband divorce papers, and as you can guess he didn’t take it well and tried to get me to reconsider.

I told him that he overlooked his mother’s behavior one too many times, and I was done with him and his inability to establish boundaries with his mother.

I recommended setting boundaries, but he didn’t think it was necessary even after I told him throughout the pregnancy about the nasty names his mother called me when he wasn’t around, and he always brushed it off, even though he did tell his mom to stop she would continue this behavior after a short pause for a while.

Before I left after handing him divorce papers he begged me for another chance and told me he cut contact with his mother permanently. I told him that he is sorry now that I handed him divorce papers and that he was too late to act now that I decided I wanted out of the marriage.

I told him I loved him so much that he should look at it as a sign that if I didn’t than I would have divorced him long ago because he didn’t stand up for me multiple times. and I let his mother’s snarky comments and behavior slide at my mental expense.

I told him he needed help with the trauma because I understand that he is dealing with trauma since he already mentioned my abusive stepdad, but he didn’t even realize that his mother hadn’t gotten him help for his trauma that he is still being affected in his adulthood.

What I can’t understand is why he didn’t leave if he needed some space instead of being such a heartless bastard and kicking our child out with me. I’ve been ignoring his texts and calls ever since, and I’m waiting for a divorce hearing.

Something that I wanted to point out is that his mother had attributed to his niece’s weight gain, since she lives with my husband’s sister to save money. I, once again, told my husband about his niece’s weight gain that it’s concerning that she weighs 190lb at such a young age, and she was indeed not that weight before.

On the day of the incident I was making the niece’s second portion of food and then my husband’s mother came towards me and snatched the plate out of my hands and said "I’ll do it myself, let me take care of it!" and when I tried to take the plate back his mother said

"I know what to fg do, you don’t know how to properly feed someone as healthy as my grandchild!" I was shocked that she thinks that her grandchild’s weight was normal for her age.

I couldn’t take this harassment or abuse any longer and my breaking point was reached when he kicked me and our child out of the house, now I need to do what’s right for our child because she doesn’t need to be in a toxic household where she has to witness the drama going on.

My soon-to-be ex-husband wants us to do marriage counseling, to which I have refused to do so because I am done with him. I’m starting to feel slightly guilty with his begging and gaslighting.

I just want to be done with him. I’ve blocked him as recommended by my lawyer but he keeps reaching out through his other family members and siblings. What should I do to make him go away until the divorce hearing?

Readers continued to weigh in on OP's wife's response:

bendelacreme writes:

This is one incredibly strong woman. She let sh!t go for so long bc she had nothing but love for this man and knew from personal experience how hard it is to overcome trauma. But something happens to most women who have children.

They become even stronger and no longer tolerate the abuse and BS. The fog clears and you realize exactly what you’re worth and what is not working.

Her soon to be ex husband literally did nothing to help her and she lost all love and respect for him. He did this to her. Now he has to live with himself and kick his sorry @$$ while his wife will most likely thrive and live her best life.

feeeet43 writes:

To the wife You are doing the right thing. Stay strong. Keep MIL-from-hell as far away from your baby as you can. If your ex gets any custody or visitation (I hope not), ask your lawyer what can be done to ensure MIL is NEVER present - she literally could kill your baby and then cry about the 'terrible accident'.

Just look at what she is doing to her other granddaughter - she is dangerous. To the husband (YTA) Your marriage is toast (extra crispy). Your soon-to-be ex tried to tell you what you needed to do, but you would/could not listen.

I understand that your past trauma has affected you, but I do not believe you understand the extent to which you have been damaged. No sane man would have done what you did. You need help, and for your sake, I sincerely hope you seek it out. I doubt that you will.

If you have any inclination to break your NC with mommy, slap yourself in the face as hard as you can, then think about when your mom slapped your wife's tummy after she had given birth 2 months earlier.

What do YOU make of OP and OP's ex-wife story? Who is in the wrong here?

Sources: Reddit
© Copyright 2024 Someecards, Inc

ADVERTISING
Featured Content