Man claims he's the 'victim' after leaving girlfriend because she got pregnant. AITA?
"AITA for leaving my girlfriend after she told me she was pregnant?"
I (25M) have been in a relationship with my girlfriend (25F) for 7 years. A few years ago, we had a discussion about having children, during which I made it abundantly clear that I did not want any at all.
While my girlfriend didn't necessarily share my sentiments, she claimed to understand and expressed happiness in just being with me. We took precautions, using c%$#@ms, and I was aware that she was also on birth control. So you can imagine my shock when she recently approached me with multiple positive pregnancy tests, excitedly announcing that she's pregnant.
Confused, I asked her what she was talking about. It was then that she confessed to having reconsidered having children and admitted to deliberately tampering with our birth control methods – she had sabotaged all of our birth control methods including poking holes in our condoms.
I was utterly taken aback and sat in silence for a few moments, trying to process the enormity of her betrayal. When she asked if I was happy about the news, I responded with a firm "I'm done with you. Don't call, don't text, nothing." I told her to leave my house, and she departed, visibly upset.
Shortly after, I received an angry call from my mother, who apparently had been approached by my girlfriend. She reprimanded me, questioning how I could treat my pregnant girlfriend in such a callous manner. Despite my attempts to explain the breach of trust, she dismissed my concerns.
Since then, I've been bombarded with angry messages from my girlfriend's friends and family, along with a few of my own relatives. Fortunately, my brother and sister are the only ones who have supported my decision. In the aftermath of this ordeal, I've been reflecting on whether my actions were justified. So, I ask you: Am I the one in the wrong here?
Here are the top comments:
dr_lucia says:
It's ok to dump someone who sabotaged your birth control. When people complain to you, don't tell them "she betrayed my trust", tell them "she literally tampered with our birth control".
The_Ghost_Reborn says:
You can't be serious? Is she mentally ill? I'd do absolutely everything I could to get her out of my life to the greatest extent possible. I didn't speak to my mother for a year after I found out that she had a secret call with my ex-girlfriend while we were breaking up, and then tried to lie about it. Loyalty is huge.
I'd make it very clear to my family what has happened. I would tell them that I need my ex out of my life permanently, and anyone that makes that harder for me to achieve by speaking to her will be out of my life as well.
I would also seriously consider the possibility that it's not mine. Poking holes in condoms is less believable than her cheating on you with someone else and getting pregnant from it. As part of the "get out of my life" conversation, I'd make sure she knows that I'll get a paternity test when the kid is born.
ChrisEye21 says:
NTA (Not the A^#ole) AT ALL. I dont know if you can, but I feel like you should be able to have her arrested for this. Or sue her. Or something. I'm actually insanely angry reading this. like you, I have told every girl ive been with since i was in my 20s (40s now) that I have no desire to have kids or get married.
They always say its not a problem, but deep down, they think that at some point ill just change my mind. If I were you, I would have done the exact same thing. But now what do you do? Like Wow! I cant even grasp that she did this to you.
Traditional-Pin1233 says:
NTA in so many level, dude. Wow, your gf or ex now idk, is a glaring red flag. Neon red if there's any. Now this is baby trapping.
What do you think? Is OP right to leave his girlfriend?