I (35M) became homeless because my house had burned down in a fire. My sister (37F) agreed to take me in when I asked her. Obviously, I needed some time to find another place to live, and she was the first person who came to mind. Just to clarify: after the disaster, I took temporary shelter at a friend's house before contacting my sister.
I have to mention that her house is in another state, which made it even more challenging. After I had been staying there for a few days, she asked me whether I had succeeded in finding another place. I said no, and explained that I was trying. I also asked her if she could help, but she refused.
I was disappointed that she didn't want to help me find a house, but I didn't want to argue, so I kept my silence. That evening, her husband approached me to say they did not want me to reside there for free.
He mentioned that I would have to pay them every month to continue staying there, and I was surprised. I asked my sister whether she was asking her own brother to pay her money. They said it's their house, and I shouldn't be the one making that decision.
I lashed out at her, accusing her of being a cheapskate, and said that no decent human being would charge money from their own family member for providing them with accommodation. Her husband then asked me to leave, and I did.
I moved to another friend's house and am staying there now. But I worry that I was rude in my interactions with them, so AITA?
Here are some of the top comments:
YTA (You're the A%#hole). "I have to say that her house is in another state, which made it even more challenging." Sleeping under a bridge is very exhausting and dangerous. I'm glad you've never been on the streets, but I'm sorry to say that it shows.
Do you have a job? Have you been actively searching for one? Experiencing a tragedy doesn't exempt you from working or seeking mental health support if you need it.
Their finances might be tight. Having someone in their house is an inconvenience to them, whether you're a brother or sister. You're not entitled to anything. They provided you with accommodation for free.
YTA.Your sister took you in when you were in distress. Did you really think it was going to be a free ride? You sound like a much younger person.
When you moved in, there should have been a discussion about what each of you was expecting and what your timeline should be. I'm sorry about the fire, but in the meantime, real life goes on.
ESH. They should have said something before you moved in, but you shouldn't have expected to live with them for free for as long as you wanted. You seem very entitled to think "family" should just provide for you.
What do you think? Should OP expect that his family takes care of him, or should he be okay with paying his sister some rent?