'AITA for telling my DIL you didn’t send the money so can pay full price or not go at all?'
"AITA for telling my DIL you didn’t send the money so can pay full price or not go at all?"
I am going to retire soon. I work at the airport, and the job allows me to have cheaper flights. My wife asked me if we could use my discount to go on a family vacation. Over the holidays, I informed all the kids and their spouses that we are going on vacation and they are welcome to join. They need to give us the discounted prices of the tickets, and the rest is paid for by us.
Later that month, I informed them over the group chat that they need to give the money by the end of the month so I could buy the tickets. I got everyone’s money besides Jenny.
Jenny is my daughter-in-law and has a habit of being late to events and other things. I gave her a call on the 29th, and she never answered. I bought the tickets, and Jenny doesn’t have a ticket.
My son does have a ticket since he gave me the money a while ago, and according to them, they have separate money. I never heard back from Jenny until now. We are leaving this Friday.
She was asking what time the flight was. I told her I thought she wasn’t going since she never gave me the cash. She doesn’t have a ticket. This is where the argument started. She is calling me a jerk for not buying her a ticket, and I told her this was a hard deadline.
You didn’t send the money, so you either don’t go or pay full price. You are an adult; you need to understand deadlines, and I am not chasing you around. She called me a jerk, and the family is torn. They agree it’s her fault, but I could have been nicer.
Here's what people had to. say to OP:
JackSucks says:
NTA (Not the A%^&ole). You know you are fine to buy tickets for people who paid and you specifically reached out to her and got no reply.
Yet, you post here saying your family says you should have been nicer. What does that mean? I don’t have great context about what you said to her or about her to other people.
OP responded:
They think my delivery could have been more gentle even if they agree it’s her fault, or I should have tried harder to contact her.
Delivery of what though? I could come up with valid examples for you being fine and you being an asshole about it. She has been an as^%$le to you, but I don’t know if you were one in return.
OP responded:
Telling her she doesn’t have a ticket and it’s a hard deadline, that she is an adult
RoyallyOakie says:
INFO: I'm just curious as to what your son makes of all this. Did you at least remind him that his wife hadn't paid?
OP responded:
He hasn’t shared his opinion to me about it. I know the couple is arguing due to my daughter.
[deleted]
INFO: Describe this group chat please. Does Jenny actually participate on it? Could she have missed it some how? Was your son at all aware you were trying to find out if Jenny was going or not?
OP responded:
It’s the family group chat, I don’t know how she could have missed it was everywhere. I haven’t talked to my son about it yet. He’s a bit busy at the moment.
INFO: I'm just curious as to what your son makes of all this. Did you at least remind him that his wife hadn't paid?
OP responded:
He hasn’t shared his opinion to me about it. I know the couple is arguing due to my daughter
NTA. Though your son clearly knew she hadn’t sent the money so why didn’t he give her a heads up?
OP responded:
I don’t know, he could have and she ignored it, their was a miscommunication or he forgot and she also forgot
Why wouldn’t he have just paid for it then? Hoping to get you to foot the bill? NTA
OP responded:
I don’t know, maybe they are trying to keep things separate, maybe issues in the past were she didnt repay him, maybe it was just a big miscommunication
I’m not in the marriage I don’t know how they agree to do the finances
Edit- I know the reason now
Just curious but what’s the difference between the discount rate you paid and the full price she’d have to pay now?
Either way, NTA.
I’d suggest that anyone who has a problem with how you handled this can help pay for her ticket out of the money you saved those ungrateful a-holes.
OP responded:
She will need to pay around 450-500 due to the trip being this week, I got the tickets for around 300. Originally the tickets were like 400. It’s a 25 percent discount.
50Bullseye says:
Just curious but what’s the difference between the discount rate you paid and the full price she’d have to pay now? Either way, NTA. I’d suggest that anyone who has a problem with how you handled this can help pay for her ticket out of the money you saved those ungrateful a-holes.
OP responded:
She will need to pay around 450-500 due to the trip being this week, I got the tickets for around 300. Originally the tickets were like 400. It’s a 25 percent discount.
Later OP added this edit:
I asked my daughter if she knew what was going on with those two. According to her, they pay separately for things, and my daughter-in-law apparently has a habit of saying she will pay back her husband and doesn’t when he covers for her. He told her he wasn’t covering her; she thought he was bluffing. He wasn’t.