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Woman tells brother he's selfish for marrying his daughter's bully's mom; asks AITA?

Woman tells brother he's selfish for marrying his daughter's bully's mom; asks AITA?


It's tough dealing with your child getting bullied. You have to teach them how to stick up for themselves, talk to their teachers to ensure they are protected, and sometimes contact their bully's parents to ensure they are aware of the behavior. What usually doesn't happen is you meet your child's bully's parent and fall in love with them.

On a popular Reddit thread in the Am I the A**hole Subreddit, a woman tells her brother that he's an inconsiderate jerk for marrying his daughter's bully's mom.

She writes:

My brother (39M) has a daughter Piper (15F). When Piper was four years old, her mom died. My brother told Piper so much about her, and they had some special photos of her mom that were treasured. When Piper was six, she started being teased by this girl called Nancy (15F now).

It continued for over a year and ultimately came to a head when Nancy tore up a photo of Piper's mom that Piper brought into school for some show-and-tell family edition her class was doing.

From that day on, Piper did not like Nancy. Because of that incident, my brother and Nancy's mom met. They became friends, and a few months after the incident where Nancy tore up the photo, they started dating and married a year later. Piper pulled away from my brother when she found out he was dating Nancy's mom and even more when they moved in together and married.

Nancy's mom mentioned how being sisters would mend the rift, and I thought that was crazy, given what went down. Nancy was happy and tried to get close to Piper. But Piper wanted nothing to do with that.

My brother only mentioned to me recently that he thought Piper and Nancy would be sisters and be close by now. But Piper doesn't want anything to do with Nancy and doesn't trust her around anything important.

I told my brother that's because he moved too fast to get that kind of relationship with them. I said he and his wife started dating, and Nancy hadn't even apologized. Piper was still upset about who he was dating and Nancy being more in her life when they married. I told him at no point did he try to make what happened better for Piper.

He thought his marriage license would somehow erase the hurt Piper felt and the bullying Nancy put Piper through for more than a year. I said MAYBE if he had given it time, let Nancy apologize, and given the girls space where they weren't living together to interact outside of school, things could have happened. But you had one child who was hurt and angry and another eager to have a dad and sibling after only having her mom.

My brother said I expected him to let Piper dictate his life. I said no, not what I said; if he wanted Piper to be happy and embrace Nancy as a sibling, he should have taken things more slowly to get that outcome. He told me it was none of my business and I was overstepping and just his little sister. AITA?

The internet has some thoughts on OP's brother.

crockofpot says:

NTA (Not the A**hole). Your brother sucks, and I needed to hear it. 'Being sisters will mend the rift' is the kind of bullsh*t rationalization people make when they don't want to face how disgusting it is that they are bringing Piper's bully into her home, into her family.

UGH. Yeah, God forbids a parent to be expected to prioritize their child's well-being or anything. Your brother must realize that he can refuse to give a sh*t about his teenage daughter. But Piper is fast approaching the age of legal adulthood, when he can no longer dictate her life. I think he'll be in for a rude awakening when his daughter drops him as coldly as he's dropped her.

BetterDay2733 says:

NTA. He shoved aside his daughter's feelings for his own personal happiness. I think it's incredibly gross he even started being friends with the parent of his daughter's bully, much less dating and then marrying her. Did they tell this lovely how they met story at the wedding? He's probably permanently damaged his relationship with his daughter.

And your brother is the one who brought it up; you didn't just say this out of nowhere. If it wasn't your business, then maybe he shouldn't have been discussing it with you. He's just mad you called out his bullsh*t.

IntelligentAge4263 says:

NTA. Your brother began dating and married the mother of his daughter’s school bully? Isn’t this the plot of a 90s horror movie?

OP, your brother fell in love in a hopeless place by sacrificing his daughter's well-being.

Sources: Reddit
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