Man has moral dilemma over sugar-free partner continuing to eat chocolate, 'she doesn't know.' AITA?
"WIBTA if I don‘t tell her that the chocolate contains sugar?"
Hello, my partner (f in her 30s) is quite into sport and not much into sweets. She stopped eating ADDED sugar "completely“ about a year ago. She doesn’t have a medical constitution, but just realized, that she‘s doing way better without the sugar. She also doesn’t restrict my eating.
For example, when we went to a fancy cake place I wanted to go to, she also ate cake, but was feeling a little nauseous afterwards. So she‘s not completely strict-strict, as sometimes she enjoys honey or if I bake something, e.g.
Now to my dilemma: every weekend she makes coffee for us and does a "special blend." When she made it before she used cocoa powder, but changed to dark chocolate shavings. It‘s really really nice, but I realized some days ago that she doesn’t know that there is sugar in them.
She eats her yogurt topped with them and is beaming with joy, when telling me "they don’t contain sugar." They do, she just had the wrong column when checking them.
I really love seeing her happy and I researched before and the chocolate shavings without sugar are 1. expensive and 2. I‘m actually not able to eat them (due to intolerance). I also really support her otherwise, when cooking, baking, etc. I check twice as not to include any sugar.
(I also realize on the other hand that she‘s mostly checking for Glucose and doesn’t care about fructose.) So WIBTA if I don‘t tell her that there‘s sugar in her new found joy?
Later, OP edited the post to include:
EDIT: Thanks guys. I think I just needed a nudge to make the right decision. I‘m at her place tomorrow and will talk to her.
EDIT: To clarify: The yoghurt used in the example she‘s eating has no added sugar. Yes she knows that there are different types of sugar. As I mentioned before, it‘s about added Glucose.
Yes she is capable of reading. No, she‘s not stupid, as the package has two different collums as it‘s baking chocolate and one type of them has no added sugar but sweetener. Yes, I know, that there are also Health risk when consuming too much sweetener. It was a simple question guys.
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
TheGoodJeans said:
YWBTA. A lie of omission is still a lie. She deserves to ha e all the information so she can make an informed decision on her own about what she puts into her body.
Masta-Blasta said:
NAH. She read the label wrong. You’re not lying to her, it’s not hurting her, and you have no obligation to tell her. Just pretend you never checked. She will figure it out eventually.
OldestCrone said:
NTA. If a grown woman doesn’t realize that a chocolate bar contains sugar, that is on her. It is her responsibility to read the labels of products. At some point, she may learn. When she asks why you didn’t tell her, you can reply that you thought she had done her own research. Neither your problem nor your responsibility.
Prestigious-Use4550 said:
YWNBTA. As long as she isn't eating them by the handful, the amount of sugar in a sprinkle is so minimal it's irrelevant. Let them be happy.
rlrlrlrlrlr said:
NTA. If you had info that she cannot access, then you would have a responsibility. If she had a medical condition that was affected, you would also have a duty to inform. Neither apply here. Here, you have a desire that she enjoys but she hasn't bothered to look closely at.
But! You need to think how she will react when she eventually finds out. If it seems likely that you knew all the time, she wouldn't be off base in getting mad. If you can plausibly say that you didn't know (a white lie in this context IMO) or something to that affect, then maybe prepare for that.
New-Pea-3721 said:
Soft YTA. This is clearly very important to her, so I’d probably mention it to her.
GuyFromLI747 said:
I don’t want to say YTA but also not exactly NTA either...I think you coulda just nudged her with I think it contained sugar, or say hey I was just reading this over and saw it had sugar...it’s obviously not hurting her either...play it cool one day like you wanted to see whats in it because it’s delish or something.
New_Chef1485 said:
NTA. Lol. I wouldn't tell her. She is pretty strict outside of the chocolate shavings. And it's dark chocolate, which usually has less sugar than milk chocolate. And I'm guessing she isn't using a ton of chocolate. I wouldn't worry about it. She can figure it out on her own.