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Man 'purposefully excludes' coworker from group plan, 'I don't like her.' AITA?

Man 'purposefully excludes' coworker from group plan, 'I don't like her.' AITA?

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"AITA 'purposefully excluding' a coworker?"

I (28M) work in a team of 7 people. A new girl Jess (26F) joined a couple months ago who I don't really care for. I am polite to her while we work but we don't share any hobbies or overlap in any way.

I think she's a bit pretentious to be honest. She's always talking about her living in London in her early twenties. It's her whole personality, talking about all the expensive things she used to do and how she's "sooooo broke" as a result. We are all paid very well for what we do and the area we live in.

Last night, we had all planned to go for dinner after work to celebrate Chris (28M) getting married. I knew Jess would be going but it wasn't my plan to dictate who went and it's a nice thing to celebrate so I decided to go anyway. Everyone at work drives apart from me so Chris offered to drive us both. I will say I am the closest with him, we started around the same time.

I was all set to go until Jess said she finds driving on her own nerve-wracking (I have no idea how she manages to commute in every day) and asked if I'd ride with her. I declined and said I wanted to travel with Chris. She insisted so I told her I want to ride with Chris so we can talk about some wedding things and got into the car. Chris did offer to also drive her but she declined.

We all got to the restaurant. Jess did not. She had a panic attack mid journey and decided to UBER home, leaving her car on a random street somewhere. Today at work, she had a go at me and accused me of purposefully excluding her from the group plan. Apparently me not riding with her was a scheme on my end to make her not go because I don't like her.

I told her that she excluded herself. Chris offered her a lift and she didn't take it. She also didn't have to abandon her car and ditch, she could have called an UBER for herself to the restaurant. Then I walked off.

While I don't like her, I never make that known at work or to any of my coworkers. I ask about her weekend, I offer her a hot drink if I make one, I help her whenever she has questions.

I just don't talk to her like I do with everyone else and I don't have her on my social media - I've know everyone else for 3 years+ now, of course I'm close to them. I was talking to Chris about this post-shift and he told me that it wouldn't have hurt for me to ride with her instead of him when she insisted. AITA?

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

Gigi-lily said:

NTA. You mentioned everyone else drives so she had multiple people she could have asked to go with after you said no. She could have gone with Chris. She could have taken an Uber to the restaurant then had someone drop her back to the car if she didn’t want to pay to uber twice.

Her being mad at you because she has a vehicle she is afraid to drive is ridiculous. You are not excluding her at work, you are not being disrespectful or outwardly rude, and that is all that is asked.

mizfit416 said:

NTA - How do you exclude someone who was invited? She imposed herself on you and you politely declined, TWICE. She's a nit wit.

Artistic_Musician_78 said:

NTA, and how did she manage to drive her car there herself? Or anywhere? This is so strange.

Angelblade92 said:

NTA - The people saying it wouldn’t have hurt are completely missing the point. You aren’t an NPC there simply to make other people happy. You didn’t want to travel with her and you don’t have to. It’s weird that because she threw a hissy fit you are supposed to get in line and do what she wants.

Urbanyeti0 said:

NTA if she can’t drive without having a panic attack, she shouldn’t have a license let alone a car. It’s also not your responsibility to get into a car with someone least of all when the driver advises they’re a nervous driver.

Safrass19710 said:

NTA!! I would question why she wanted to be alone with you. It’s not up to you to take care of her anxiety.

Sources: Reddit
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