'AITA for telling someone I didn't want to babysit my girlfriend?'
"AITA for telling someone I didn't want to babysit my girlfriend?"
Two weeks ago I went to a high school friends wedding, he's never met my girlfriend but still extended a plus one to me in case she would like to come since he knows of her.
I didn't even bother mentioning the plus one to her because I knew she wouldn't want to go, she knows nobody there except for 1 girl she met one time (Lily) and Lily's boyfriend. The rest of the guest list was just the bride and groom's family + a bunch of high school friends.
Anyway, wedding rolls around and I go. Lily asks me where my girlfriend is and why she didn't come I said '"I didn't want to babysit." I meant it as a joke as in if she had come she would be glued to me the entire time as there was nobody else there that she knows.
I mention it to my girlfriend in passing today and she was visibly upset when I told her that I said that to Lily. She said it makes her look bad. She also said that I should have told her about the invite. I asked her if she would have even gone, she said no. I said what's the point then?
AITA for telling Lily that I didn't want to "babysit" my girlfriend at a wedding where she didn't know anyone?
Later, OP edited the post to include:
Thank you everyone for all the comments telling me how big of an AH I am, I needed it. I took my girlfriend out for brunch, had a good talk, and I apologized. I told her going forward I will extend all invitations to her and be careful of saying things that paint her in a bad light. She accepted my apology and we are good now.
To clarify a few things, we've been dating for years, no we aren't breaking up over this, yes we both love each other. She has accompanied me to numerous weddings, I don't force her to always stay at home.
I was not trying to meet an "old high school girlfriend." The groom invited only male friends from high school so it was me hanging around my old crew (no girls). The groom isn't going to invite high school girl friends to his wedding. I truly didn't mean to hurt my girlfriend but I did and I accept that what I said was wrong. Thank you!
Here's what people had to say to OP:
jara9998 said:
YTA, the implication of what you said is that your GF is clingy, can’t handle an unfamiliar social environment and having to look out for her at the event would have been a burden for you. You may have meant it as a joke but doesn’t change what you implied.
g00berCat said:
Yeah, YTA. Your GF is an actual person. She deserves the respect of being informed about social events and deciding whether or not she wishes to attend. She also deserves a BF who doesn't ridicule and infantilize her behind her back with your friends. You're treating her like a doll, not an actual human being.
Famous_Specialist_44 said:
She's your girlfriend and you are supposed to like spending time with her not seeing her as a burden. You are also not supposed to demean her to your friends or her face. It's not a joke if it's unkind. And, it's polite to invite even if you know they will decline. YTA.
Upstairs-Banana41 said:
YTA. What a rude thing to say. Wtf.
Garamon7 said:
YTA. You don't want to babysit her, but you treat her like a child...
Flownique said:
YTA. How do you think she is supposed to get to know your friends whom she doesn’t know yet? This wedding would have been a perfect opportunity…
YTA you did not tell her about the plus one, but about making a terrible joke about her?
ThrowRA55368 OP responded:
She asked me how the wedding was and if Lily was there, I told her that Lily asked why she wasn't there and then told her what I said. I honestly didn't think it was that bad it wasn't my intention to hurt her