Man refuses to change chore chart after wife starts working full-time. AITA?

"AITA for refusing to change the chore chart even though my wife works full-time now?"

I met my wife in college and she was soon pregnant after we graduated. We moved in together and it was decided that she will not look for a job until she after she gave birth. Our daughter was born and my wife was a SAHM for the first two years. We had a lot of fights about the chore splitting.

I was very overwhelmed coming home and having to do a ton of chores after work and also spend time with our daughter . This has gotten worse as our daughter has gotten older and is a little tornado

The biggest issue was she wouldn’t pick up at all especially in the kitchen. That ment I would come home clean the kitchen, cook and then clean the kitchen again. The have to go around and clean up the days activities.

We argued about this a lot and her stance was she watches our kid all day long so I can clean up more when I get home. In the end I gave in and we made an official chore chart.

Her- watch kid, do laundry and grocery shopping, appointments

Me- dinner, everyday cleaning ( whipping down counter, picking up toys, sweeping, etc) , trash, meal prep and nighttime routine ( bath etc)

In the summer, my company informed me that I would be let go around Thanksgiving. We talked in over and my wife found a job and would be the main breadwinner for the time being. I was to watch our daughter and I am in an online master program.

At the moment I am watching our daughter and doing my master program. I personally have now been having any issues but my wife is. She hates having to come home and do chores and clean up after us. I actually leave it cleaner than what she has left me. ( I put dishes in the dishwasher throughout the day).

We have been arguing about this constantly. She thinks it is unfair she has to do chores after working all day and me pointing out this this literally what I have done for the past two years and keep pointing at the chore chart.

She says she is the breadwinner now and I shouldn’t have to do this and I pointed out I was the breadwinner before to begin with and did this all. That I am watching our daughter and doing a program. She claims I am being unfair, since I refuse to change the chore chart because it is literally what I have done for two years. My friend have opinions on this so I need a outsider opinion.

Here's what people had to say to OP:

wesmorgan1 said:

Two grown adults can't deal with household chores without lengthy negotiations and a written agreement? You're both fighting to make the smallest possible contribution to running the household. You have bigger problems than "who does the vacuuming." ESH.

RedRedBettie said:

ESH. You're in a partnership and need to stop working against each other. Work together to get more done.

zingzing17 said:

ESH, you all need therapy, or to communicate better. Though for real, everyone benefits from therapy.

Tudragon123456 said:

NTA. The chore chart was created for a reason, and that reason was your wife's inability to contribute fairy to the household. She can't suddenly decide it's unfair now that the roles are reversed. If she wants to renegotiate, she needs to acknowledge how one-sided it was for the past two years.

bkwormtricia said:

NTA. She was lazy before and is lazy now.

Smile_Miserable said:

The funny part is when you start working again, she will probably still have an issue with splitting the chores equally. NTA.