Man refuses to let coworker use his personal project to impress their boss, 'I don't feel comfortable.' AITA?
"AITA for refusing to let my coworker use my personal project to impress our boss?"
So I (25M) work in a mid-sized company where most of us are pretty chill, but we’re all under pressure to show initiative because there’s talk of promotions soon. Over the last couple months, I’ve been working on a side project at home. It’s basically a dashboard tool that organizes some of our team’s data way faster than the clunky software we’re stuck with.
I never promised it to the company, it was more of a “for fun/learning” project that I happened to mention casually at lunch one day. One of my coworkers (29F) immediately lit up and asked if she could demo it during her upcoming presentation to our boss. She said it would, look good for the whole team” and might “open doors for both of us.
Here’s the thing: I don’t feel comfortable with that. The tool isn’t fully finished, I’m not ready to share it, and honestly, it feels wrong that she wants to put her name on something I spent my nights and weekends building. I told her I’d rather not have it shown around yet.
She got visibly annoyed and said I was being selfish and holding back the team. A couple other coworkers gave me side eyes like I was hoarding credit. Now I feel weird, like maybe I am making it about me when it could help everyone.
But at the same time…it’s my project. Nobody asked me to do it. Nobody offered to help build it. And if I just hand it over, won’t that set the precedent that my work is free for anyone to use for their own shine? So AITA for not letting her present something I made outside of work hours, even if it might’ve benefited the team?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
Change2001 said:
Do not share your private and personal work with others at your company. This is your work. Don't allow others to try and claim credit. Document when, and how long, you have been working on the application.
Ensure that you only work on this project at home to prevent the company from trying to claim ownership of your intellectual property, especially if it's something that has value and can be sold or licensed. If you work on it on company hours or equipment then they may have a better case, if they try it.
AConfusedDumba$s said:
NTA. Why should "the team" get credit for something you've been doing off company hours? Like another commenter said, she pretty obviously just wants to steal credit for your work to try and secure a promotion. If you end up finishing the project or want to present its in-progress state, then you should be the one to do it.
Motor_Dark6406 said:
NTA, It's not ready, end of discussion. Do not give her any more details about your project because she will likely tell your bosses that she is the one sho asked you to work on it. Any way to insert herself. Tell her it's failing, if you have to. Tell your boss directly, if you choose to share it with this job at all. Just remember, once you give it to them, they own it.
EconomyRecent3772 said:
NTA. You can say that as you have worked on it off-hours and know the project in its entirety, you feel more comfortable to present it yourself when it is finished - and if your colleague is right, it will still benefit the whole team in the end. She is 100% trying to get the credit and you just didn't give her the satisfaction to do so. Hold your ground.
theoldman-1313 said:
Your coworker obviously believes that you are naive and would not recognize that she was planning on stealing your idea. Don't worry that she is upset with you - you didn't want to be "friends" with someone like that. NTA.
WholeAd2742 said:
NTA. She wasn't going to present anything for the "team." She can go do her own hard work, not mooch from you.
Medical_Sky_1072 said:
NTA. She wanted all the credit for herself and the coworkers giving you side eye were probably in on it. Safeguard all your work as much as possible and do NOT allow them to see it or access it at all.