Man refuses to make food for picky girlfriend, 'I've been cooking exclusively chicken.' AITA?

"AITA for not wanting to cook for my girlfriend anymore because she is a picky eater?"

I (32M) have been dating my girlfriend (30F) for about 6 months now. We get along great, we have a lot of fun together, we have deep conversations and honestly I see potential long term, maybe even marriage and kids.

For background, my mom is a professional chef, she worked in fancy restaurants her whole life and at home I’d always help her out in the kitchen. I grew up eating and making all kinds of dishes Indian, Asian, Middle Eastern, American etc... I enjoy exploring different cuisines and experimenting with flavors.

My girlfriend however eats like a 7 year old on a chicken nugget diet. She doesn’t eat beef, pork, or fish only chicken. She doesn't eat most greens unless they’re in a burger and the texture isn't noticeable. No mushrooms, no beans etc.., no sauces with “weird stuff” (like anything with visible onions, garlic, etc).

No spicy food, no creamy textures, no stews, nothing “too chewy,” “too saucy,” or might have a “funky smells.” You get the idea. So for the past 6 months, I’ve been cooking almost exclusively chicken every time she comes over. And even then, she might not eat it. I once made a creamy chicken dish with asparagus in the sauce and she raised her eyebrows in disgust.

Honestly, this is killing my love for cooking. I’m sick of eating chicken all the time, I swear I’m gonna start clucking soon and lay an egg. I’ve tried to compromise, I asked her if she’d be open to trying new stuff slowly, or letting me make a dish where I can put her version and try to sneak in some small extra ingredients just to make her get used to other kinds of flavors but nope she refused the idea.

So I finally told her that if she’s not willing to budge, I’m not going to keep cooking meals that only she enjoys. I’ll still make something we can both eat every now and then, sure, but most days I’m going to cook what I actually enjoy.

And if that doesn’t work for her, she’s welcome to bring her own groceries and I can guide her to cook her own meal or she can order takeout. That's where she got really upset, she went off saying, “You knew I don't eat most things from the start, so why drag this relationship on for 6 months if it was such a burden?”

I said, " I knew you were picky, but I didn’t realize how much, your list of no keeps getting bigger.” I told her it’s not the end of the world, and we can make separate meals, but I just won’t be cooking a separate meal just for her.

She said she doesn’t like to cook and that I’m being inconsiderate and a bad boyfriend for not doing cooking a separate meal for her because I am some what of a chef and I enjoy it. I said no I don’t want it to become a norm that I always cook two separate meals because that’s just extra work and unfair for me.

Now she’s upset, saying I’m selfish and uncaring, and that if I really loved her I wouldn’t make a fuss about this. Also, don’t even get me started on picking restaurants that’s a whole other rant I won’t get into. Just know it’s a nightmare. So AITA?

Here's what people had to say about OP:

WTH_JFG said:

When someone plays the “if you really loved me” card, that’s when I realize I don’t. So long. Bye. See ya.

GenoFlower said:

One of my family members is married to someone like your gf. My family member is no chef, but she does enjoy all kinds of foods. Her husband is about as picky as your gf - no veggies, no "chunks" of anything in spaghetti sauce because those mean veggies, no sauces, etc.

They had 3 kids, 2 with food allergies. There was a time when she was making up to 5 different meals. It's one thing to do it for your kids, and because they can't eat common things - corn, soy, gluten, etc. - but then she had her husband saying he wouldn't eat the gluten free versions of anything because they "looked" different.

And yes, the battle over restaurants. I know it. Every restaurant has to have things like chicken tenders, or the ability to de-sauce everything, make it all plain, or he won't go.

This could be your life. People are obviously allowed to eat what they want, like what they want, but if she is already fighting with you about cooking for her, it's going to be a long road.

jellybeanpoutxx said:

You've been patient, but it's fair to cook what you enjoy. If she won’t try new foods, she can make her own meals. It’s about balance, not doing all the work.

Spoedi-Probes said:

NTA. She says you are selfish and uncaring. So is she if she won't try any new food or get professional help.

RuleMoney_ said:

NTA. You’re not a short order cook, and love isn’t measured in chicken nuggets. If she won’t budge, this isn’t about food it’s about control. Time to ask Is this the only area where she refuses to compromise, or just the first one you’ve noticed?

VelcroYeti92 said:

Dude, NTA. Cooking's your jam and her nugget life is killin' your vibe. She gotta meet you halfway or cook for herself. Love ain't about becoming a short order chef. Stick to your spatulas!

annang said:

NTA. This could relationship could be fine if you each cooked for yourselves. But she wants to be catered to, and you’re totally reasonable to say no. Also, she should be evaluated for ARFID and other restrictive feeding disorders.