Man refuses to keep buying food for fiancée's family, 'a $1 tip is insultingly low.' AITA?
"AITA for deciding not to buy food for my fiancée's family anymore?"
Every other week, my fiancée (22F) and I (23M) go out to eat with her family, and last week, we went to a Korean BBQ restaurant owned by my uncle (59M), where I paid for everyone's meal. I only asked them to cover the tip for the waitress, which they agreed to do so. The total bill was over $240, and I paid. Usually, when I cover the tab for my friends or significant other, they generously tip since they're only responsible for the gratuity, not the cost of the meal itself.
However, a few days ago, my cousins (21M) revealed that they had only left a $1 tip and they have tip only 1 dollars before. I was shocked and disappointed because a $1 tip is insultingly low, especially considering I had treated them to alcohol and dessert. So, I discussed this issue with my fiancée, but her family insists they never tip or only pays like 1 dollar for tip at restaurants/general services. This is happening in the USA.
As a result, I informed my fiancée our bi-weekly restaurant outings would have to change. I also have informed to my fiancée about this. I told her that I had only paid for their meals as a kind gesture. While my fiancée was annoyed, she ultimately understood.
Yesterday, they asked if I would buy their food again next week, to which I responded that they'll need to cover their own expenses for their meal. I didn't want to confront them about their habit of tipping only a dollar, so I decided to handle it differently this time and simply pretend to cover the tip for them.
Her family did not take that so well. They accused me of being ungrateful, arguing that they were the ones taking time to meet up with me bi-weekly and that asking them to tip was unreasonable in the beginning. They also suggested that since my family is wealthy, it's only fair that I continue paying for their meals.
My fiancée was surprisingly on my side, she knew her family had this issue. She just didn't have courage to inform them about it. AITA for deciding not to buy food for my fiancée's family anymore?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
BulbasaurRanch said:
“Arguing they were the ones taking time to meet up with me bi-weekly." lol. Just reply ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t realize it was such a burden for you. Going forward we can stop getting together bi-weekly then. I didn’t realize you considered it such a sacrifice, and I can’t in good conscience keep asking you to make such a sacrifice." You don’t owe these people anything. They are trying to take advantage of you. Stop letting them try. NTA.
PastaQueen25 said:
NTA $1???? Yeah I wouldn’t be going out to eat with them again.
lalapocalypse said:
To only tip 1$ at your family's restaurant when you're already covering the rest of the bill is especially rude. Def NTA. At the very least, they could have put one or two 20$ on the table...
Apart-Ad-6518 said:
Totally NTA. "A $1 tip is insultingly low." Exactly. "Arguing that they were the ones taking time to meet up with me bi-weekly and that asking them to tip was unreasonable in the beginning.
So they use their precious time to meet you & get paid for. How awful that must be for them, being forced to do that. "They also suggested that since my family is wealthy, it's only fair that I continue paying for their meals." They can suggest all they like. They sound entitled AF. It's totally ok to stop them freeloading off you.
thumpmyponcho said:
Not tipping in the US is not ok. If you don't have enough to give a proper tip, then you don't have enough to eat out in that place. Also funny that they are calling you ungrateful, when you've been paying for their food. But they've been making time for you!? How gracious of them to bless you with their presence. NTA of course. They don't respect you, and they don't respect people working in hospitality. Let them eat at home.
JsCTmav said:
NTA. Clearly you're ungrateful to them for being so generous in giving you their time, so you deserve a punishment for that. From now on, you no longer will be allowed to enjoy their company on a regular basis - meaning no dinners. I know, it's really unfair, but until you learn to be more appreciative then you do not have any right to enjoy such wonderful company.
Later, OP provided a mini update:
I didn't break up with her, but her family is furious. They refuse to talk to me. They've called my fiancée multiple times, saying things like, "is this how Koreans do their business?" and suggesting she should break up with me, along with other offensive and more racist remarks.