Man refuses to lend his sister his house for 'self-care retreat,' 'she constantly criticizes my lifestyle.' AITA?
"AITA for refusing to lend my sister my house for her 'self-care retreat' after she constantly criticizes my lifestyle?"
I (32M) own a small house in a quiet area where I often go to unwind. It’s my sanctuary. My sister "Laura" (30F) has been going through a tough time and recently decided she wants to host a weekend “self-care retreat” for herself and her friends. She asked if she could use my house for it.
Here’s the catch: Laura has always been critical of my choices—like my minimalistic lifestyle, lack of a “real job” (I freelance), and my decision to not settle down or have kids. While I understand she’s struggling, I can’t help but feel like her request comes with an underlying judgment about my life choices.
When I told her I’m not comfortable lending my space, she flipped out and accused me of being selfish and unsupportive. She claims that using my house would help her recharge, but I can’t shake the feeling that she just wants to throw a party in my space.
Our family is divided—some say I should just let her use the house to help her mental health, while others agree that I shouldn’t be pressured to lend it out. I feel guilty for saying no, but I also want to protect my personal space. AITA for refusing to let my sister use my house for her retreat after her constant criticism of my lifestyle?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
Competitive_Cod_3843 said:
NTA. She has no problem looking down on you until she wants something you have. Protect your serene space from her bad vibes. You could explain it to her if you think she could learn and grow, but you're not obligated to.
cassowary32 said:
NTA. It's your home not a vacation rental. I'm sure there are similar spaces she can rent for a retreat without displacing you or invading your space with strangers.
Odd-End-1405 said:
NTA. This is why hotels, spas, AirBnB’s, and VRBO’s exist. To help people self care in a place not their home if that is their desire. She is just being cheap.
TeenySod said:
NTA, and don't even let her 'rent' it from you. As others have said "self care retreat for her and friends" = party. Fine, they can pay to host it elsewhere. If any of your family don't understand that her criticism about your choices, whilst wanting to take advantage of what they have clearly earned you, is hypocritical, then their opinion doesn't count, hold your ground.
Adventurous_Crow252 said:
Even if she was your best friend and not at all critical of your lifestyle you have no obligation to let her use your house. NTA.
Adventurous_Crow252 said:
Even if she was your best friend and not at all critical of your lifestyle you have no obligation to let her use your house. NTA.
ProfMG said:
NTA. It's your serene space and you don't have to share it, I do wonder though would she be willing to do something similar for you? Probably not.
melodytanner26 said:
NTA. If sure wants her retreat so badly she can rent a place. Your house is not a rental. It’s not a family property. She has no right to demand such. Thing.