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'AITA for not opening the door for my wife's friend I think is trying to make a move on me?' UPDATED

'AITA for not opening the door for my wife's friend I think is trying to make a move on me?' UPDATED


"AITA for telling my wife that I won’t be opening the door for her creepy friend?"

My (M41) wife, Becky (F39), is planning on traveling abroad to visit her sister and her family in the next few days. She'll be gone for the next 2 and a half weeks. Over the past year, my wife has become very good friends with our neighbour, Emily (F37), who lives a few houses down.

Long story short, Emily makes me feel uncomfortable, and I think she's trying to make a move on me. At first, I thought she was joking, and I didn't think much of her behavior, but now it only makes me feel uncomfortable.

Earlier today, Becky told me that she chatted with Emily and mentioned how she'd be going overseas for a few weeks. She said that Emily offered to come by and drop off some food for us (myself and our eleven-year-old daughter, Alice) from time to time.

Becky was reluctant to agree, but after Emily insisted, she finally agreed. I was surprised that she'd agree to this without consulting me first, so I told her that it made me uncomfortable.

Becky said that 'Emily means well' and it would be rude if we were to refuse now. I said okay, but that she shouldn't be surprised if Alice and I 'forget' to open the door every time Emily comes knocking. Becky said that I was being a jerk to someone offering us kindness. AITA?

Here's what the jury of internet strangers had to say about this one...

WheelPurple835 said:

Becky is blessedly naive. Trust your instincts. Never open that door. NTA.

CuriousTsukihime said:

NTA - flip the script and ask your wife if she’d be okay with you telling your best mate he can stop by, even if you knew he was interested and made her uncomfortable.

Ask her if she would be okay with the guilt if you turned out to be right? Good partners don’t allow their SOs to feel out of place in their own home. Don’t negotiate, tell her Emily isn’t to check on you, you’re a grown man and a capable husband. End of discussion.

ProfPlumDidIt said:

NTA. It doesn't matter WHY she makes you uncomfortable; the fact is that she DOES make you uncomfortable and your wife seems to care more about being rude than about you feeling 'safe' in your own home.

Weekly_Literature720 said:

NTA. If she flirts with you, tell her that you are uncomfortable with her advances towards you and will no longer open the door for her.

You mentioned having a camera outside so you can use that to show your wife. If your wife still doesn’t see the issue, since she says that her friend is simply like that, then tell your wife that she cannot pick out your friends. You have your own boundaries and your own dealbreakers.

She’s not your wife’s sister, she is not her cousin, she is not in any way related to her. Therefore, interacting with her is a choice. Tell your wife that if she wants to continue speaking to Emily, then fine. But you on the other hand, choose not to deal with her. Nor do you need to.

Also, I bet if you tried getting along with Emily and your wife were to open her eyes, she will think you are enjoying Emily’s advances. Might even accuse you of something. Best to keep your distance.

lanlawmaz said:

NTA. She makes you unconfortable and that is enough. You do not have to open the door or offer any explanation of where you are/were when she drops by. I would though, communicate to Emily very gracefully that her help is not needed so she doesn't waste her time or food.

Later, the post was updated to include...

Early this morning, I spoke to Becky about my concerns regarding Emily's behavior. She said that Emily doesn't have any ulterior motives and only means well.

She also brought up how Emily has her own husband and always tells Becky how great he is. For some more context, Emily is married, but her husband isn't home too much as he works in the military.

When I asked if she could tell Emily that we don't need food deliveries, she said it would be awkward to mention it right before her trip and how it would only be once or twice a week.

Another thing Becky mentioned that has only increased my uneasiness is that Emily had given her a spare house key 'just in case of emergencies or anything like that.'

For those wondering, my wife is leaving a few hours past midnight tonight. Context - For clarification regarding the key. Emily gave my wife her own house key, but doesn't have the key to our home.

Some more context: For those wondering what Emily does, I can tell you that she does a lot of unnecessary physical contact, like hugging me whenever she sees me, which didn’t bother me the first few times but increasingly makes me feel uneasy.

Not only that, but she has made very suggestive comments in the past. I would also add that the way she dresses and her body language when she comes to our house seems to be a bit flirtatious.

Yikes...this is a Lifetime made-for-TV movie in the making. Good luck, everyone (and lock that door with confidence, sir).

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