Man refuses to sleep on the couch during the family vacation he planned. AITA?
"AITA for refusing to sleep on a pull out couch during vacation?"
I (28F) planned a family trip with my parents and my brother (25M). Before I officially booked the Air B&B that we would all be splitting the price on, I sent each of them the listing, showing how many bedrooms, what accommodations, etc.
I made sure to double check with my brother as the house is only 2 bedrooms. One room has 2 full size beds, the other a king bed. I asked if he would mind sharing a room with me as 3 bedrooms in this area were harder to find. He said it was fine because we’d each have our own bed and asked me to book it. Once our parents signed off on it, I booked it.
When we arrive, before we even have our first night’s sleep, my brother declares he thinks he and I should alternate sleeping on the pull out couch in the living room. I say I’m not going to do that. If he doesn’t want to sleep in the room designated for us, that’s fine.
But I’m not sleeping on a pull out on vacation when there’s 2 beds. I asked why he doesn’t want to share a room and why this didn’t come up sooner. He said we were adults and he was “too old” to share a room. I asked why he didn’t bring this up sooner.
He said he figured I’d agree to the pull out situation. I said he shouldn’t have assumed or at least had a conversation with me. He kept insisting and I said no. If he wants to sleep out there our whole vacation, fine. But I’m not alternating when I paid for a bed.
Him sleeping on the pull out lead to several conflicts with our parents as he’d get mad if they came into the living room in the morning while he was still sleeping but as they pointed out, it’s the living room, a public space.
If people wanted to hang out in the living room at night, he’d start bugging us to go into our rooms so he could sleep, as early as 8 PM. We’re on vacation, we’re going to stay up a little later and hang out.
I always offered to let him sleep in the extra bed in the room but he refused unless I promised that I would sleep on the pull out that night. Which I didn’t do.
By the end of the (7 day, 6 night) trip, he was irritated with all of us over this. My parents and I feel that he’s the one who put himself in the situation and that there was an alternative to him sleeping on the couch but he chose not to. However, my brother is insisting that I should’ve swapped with him. AITA for not sleeping on the pull out?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
msfinch87 said:
NTA. Your brother was a d. He willingly agreed to the sleeping arrangements as part of the booking process. It was crucial to it being booked.
That he withheld his alternative plan of you two switching off on arrival is just plain weird given he had every chance to have this conversation. He was always welcome to the second bed as agreed.
But nonetheless he proceeds to behave like a stroppy toddler about the whole thing and about people utilizing the living room he’s subsequently decided to sleep in. He own goaled himself all the way with this one.
TurbulentTurtle2000 said:
NTA. Your brother is not too old to share a hotel room on vacation. He is however, far too old to be acting like a spoiled brat.
thatsunshinegal said:
NTA. You did everything right, and your brother was the one who waited until the trip itself to protest. He made unrealistic assumptions in several ways, and wound up paying for it himself in poor privacy and sleep. If he should be mad at anyone, it should be himself for his terrible communication and planning skills.
giveusalol said:
NTA. But also your brother is acting oddly. Why on earth lie that you’re ok with it, then demand the room to yourself and thenpick a living room pull out couch as the hill to die on?
Sounds like he was making everyone miserable because he didn’t get his way but neither was he gaining anything from his stupid stance. What was the point of any of this?
Has he apologized? Does he seem to feel bad about it? Is he usually this entitled? Why did he think it was acceptable for you to take the couch but not him? Good on you for not giving in.
tawstwfg said:
NTA. He knew exactly what the plan was and agreed to it. He probably thought he could bully you into leaving the room, which is not an awesome way to go on vacation. Good job for sticking to your guns and not switching just so he would stop being a baby!
Fresh_Caramel8148 said:
I'm sitting here literally laughing at the audacity of your brother!!! What an entitled brat! If he wanted his own room, he should have spoken up sooner. For his claims of being too old to share, my counter claim is that I'm too old to sleep on a pull out! WTH?? You and your parents are NOT at fault at all on this. AT ALL.