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Man refuses to accept his ex's baby as his own, 'I only care about my kids.' AITA?

Man refuses to accept his ex's baby as his own, 'I only care about my kids.' AITA?


"AITA for not accepting my ex’s baby as my own?"

I (M,39) was married to Kelly ( F,36). We have 3 kids ( 14 year old , 12 year old and a 6 year old). Kelly got pregnant early in our relationship and we got married when my first born was 1 year old. Then she decided to be a SAHM. She met Josh. He was a fitness trainer.

Kelly told me she was no longer attracted to me and wanted divorce . I suggested therapy but she said she saw no point since the attraction is gone . We now have 50/50 custody of our kids and I pay child support alimony since she has no job. She got pregnant by Josh after a hookup.

Josh disappeared when she told him about the pregnancy. She is about to give birth soon. She told me last night she wanted to give the baby my last name so all kids have the same last name. I said that’s odd since my name wouldn’t be on the birth certificate? She said that’s what I’m saying!

You have always been a great dad and it’s cruel that the baby would be left out while the siblings have you. I said no and I doubt she legally even can without my consent! I only care about my kids. She said I’m heartless and cruel! After all, the baby will be my kids’s siblings...AITA?!


added later: I live in the province of Ontario ( Toronto to be exact). No there is zero percent chance that I would be the father. I’m Black. Josh like my ex wife is Caucasian (I never met him in person) with blonde hair and blue eyes. So the baby will clearly will look so different than me and the kids.

I’m not sure why Kelly plans to lie to the poor baby about the dad. im not trying to cruel or be malicious. I was a complete mess after my divorce. Heartbroken. After so much therapy I decided to let her go. I’m now focusing on my kids and our (kids and mine) mental health. I am single by choice because I don’t think my kids and I are there yet (to have a new person in our lives).

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

RollRepresentative35 said:

NTA. It's not your baby. I understand she wants them not to feel excluded from the other kids but you don't really have a responsibility here. Although pretty sure she could name the baby whatever she wants I dont think you can stop her (just make sure you're not on the birth cert).

90skid12 said:

NTA!!! Be careful around this manipulative woman.

NotThatSpecialToo said:

NTA. She cannot sign your name on the BC without forging your signature (fraud).

SoapGhost2022 said:

NTA. She’s trying to put you on the hook to pay for the new one. HELL no.

cassowary32 said:

NTA. Make sure you lawyer is ready to ask for a paternity test to get your name taken off the birth certificate before you are stuck paying child support for the next 18 years.

Cannabis_CatSlave said:

NTA. She was looking to up her support payments. DIE on this hill, if she tries to put you on the BC, demand a DNA test and shut that shit down hard.

Everyone was on OP's side for this one. What's your advice for this family?

Sources: Reddit
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