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Man gets upset when siblings won't say his stepdaughter is gorgeous, 'she really isn't.' AITA?

Man gets upset when siblings won't say his stepdaughter is gorgeous, 'she really isn't.' AITA?


I refuse to call my step-niece gorgeous and now my mother is mad.

SubstantialSea2965 writes:

My brother and sister-in-law have two daughters, F14 Bria, who is his, and F16 Leah, who is hers. The issue lies with my sister-in-law. Every time someone compliments Bria, we are expected to also compliment Leah; otherwise, she gets upset.

For instance, if I praise Bria for being talented in something, my sister-in-law will interrupt and say, 'But isn't Leah also very talented?' It's frustrating because I can't say a single word to my niece without also addressing Leah.

A few days ago, we were at their home, and the girls were getting ready for a party. Bria looked absolutely gorgeous, so I said, 'OMG Bria, you look gorgeous.'

Once again, my sister-in-law interrupted and said, 'But isn't Leah very gorgeous?' I finally reached my limit and said, 'No, she is not.' She looked at me shocked and asked, 'What the hell is wrong with you to say that?'

I explained that I didn't want to say it, but since she insisted, I answered truthfully. I mentioned that if she believes her daughter is gorgeous, she should express that herself, but she can't expect everyone to compliment her. Now, she thinks I'm being unreasonable.

Here are some of the top comments:

wzardwrld999 says:

YTA (You're the A%@hole) - assuming that Leah heard what you had said. She’s a 16 year old girl. That could seriously have an adverse effect on her self esteem. It’s a sh^%ty way to get back at your SIL by making Leah hurt.

It is also true though, that yes, you shouldn’t have to compliment Leah every time you compliment Bria. But she’s 16 and teens that age are sensitive and always looking for validity in who they are and how they look.

In the end though, I’d say YTA because I’d expect an adult to handle that situation better without hurting a 16 year olds already fragile self esteem.

You said it yourself “The problem is my SIL”. So why did you make it Leah’s problem and force her to be the casualty in the problem you have with SIL?

Disastrous_Cress_701 says:

ESH (Everyone Sucks Here). She's annoying. You were cruel.

You should have said "of course both girls are beautiful, but it's not a competition and I don't have to compliment everyone each time, it's ridiculous."

SongOfOwls says:

If Leah was there, YTA. It's not her fault and you directly insulted her. Believe me, they'll remember it probably forever. If not, NTA, I guess, but you should still learn how to have an adult conversation about annoyances and such before innocent people get hurt. Also, referring to a teenage kid as "absolutely gorgeous" is a bit strange but that's neither here nor there.

EllaTheCompanion says:

YTA. What kind of issue do you have with Leah? Maybe SIL is too much, but I am wondering why she is doing that? Your post make it seem like you favor the other niece very blatantly and maybe that's why SIL is overcorrecting?

And even if not: you seem to be a grown up who insulted a young teenager in a cruel way bc you were annoyed with their also grown up parent. That's just rediculous.

VisionCreationSunnO says:

YTA. You told a 16 year old girl that she's not gorgeous, after complimenting her sister? That's horrible. Imagine how she must feel hearing that, especially as a 16 year old girl. You're absolutely the a^%hole.

What do you think? Is OP right?

Sources: Reddit
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