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Veteran refuses to come home for Thanksgiving because family thinks he's a 'failure'.

Veteran refuses to come home for Thanksgiving because family thinks he's a 'failure'.


Everyone wants to be a 'successful' person. What 'success' looks like varies from person to person. For some, it means having a family they can comfortably support, but for others, it may be running a company with the power to destabilize western democracy.

On a popular Reddit thread in the Am I the A**hole Subreddit, one man views his life as a 'success' while his family begs to disagree.

He writes:

I, 28m, come from a family where everyone joins the marines. Most of the men in my family join straight out of high school and make it their career and entire personalities.

I joined straight out of high school, did my time, and did not re-enlist. Instead, I went to school and got an excellent job in a hospital supporting my wife and me. I’m happy with my life, but whenever I see my family, they always talk about how I gave up on the military for an easy life and how my cousins made it through and are still in.

Thanksgiving is for the Marines.

Since it’s November, every Thanksgiving has to have a Marine birthday cake, leading to comments about me not acknowledging that it’s a nautical birthday on Facebook. Just dumb stuff that doesn’t even matter.

If your family doesn't see you that must mean you're a 'success'

I have told them repeatedly that it is fine for my cousins, but they are also deployed a lot and never see their families, and I like coming home to my wife every day. One of my cousins is 21, married to the first girl who spoke to him, and now has a one-year-old. This is who they compare me to because I’m 28 with no kids. That's fine if that’s what he wants, but not for me.

A real Marine wouldn't do this.

I told my mom this year that my wife and I would stay home and do our own Thanksgiving. She’s upset and calling me immature, saying they are kidding and I’m too sensitive, but I’m sick of getting put down every holiday and family get-together for choosing a different life path than them.

The internet had thoughts all in support of OP.

TheRealPizzaKing says:

NTA (Not the A**hole). If you do end up going, bring the Crayola tub of crayons and set it out with the deserts.

Careful_Fennel_4417 says:

Listen, NTA. Military life isn’t for everyone. It’s hard. And it’s hard on families. Tell mom you aren’t the immature one. The rest of them are for being such giant AHs. Enjoy Thanksgiving with your lovely wife.

TheLovelyMadamToh says:

NTA. It's not 'kidding' it's bullying. They're bullying you for choosing civilian life over the military. For the record, working in a hospital is NOT an easy job.

AlbaTejas says:

Tell them you'll be helping to save lives instead of killing brown children in the rich people's oil wars

Gone are the days when people would bang pots and pans for frontline workers.

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