Man refuses to give sister money for IVF because she cheated on his best friend.
On a popular Reddit thread on the Am I The A**hole Subreddit, a man asks if he is being an a**hole for not helping his sister with her IVF because he hates her husband.
AITA for not helping my sister with her IVF solely because of her husband?
Your sister sucks, OP.
My (34F) sister, Meg (31F), cheated on my ex-brother-in-law, Josh, with his best friend, Liam. They did it for over four years until Josh found out and broke up. Liam and Meg have been officially together for five years.
My ex-BIL has been my best friend since elementary school, and my sister knew him through me; despite my saying it would make things uncomfortable, she insisted on hitting on him until he noticed, and they started dating.
OP has been rewarded by the inheritance gods for dealing with this mess.
My relationship with Meg took a toll on me because I was annoyed with her for doing this to my best friend, but we never cut contact because of my nephew (her son with Josh and my godson).
One year ago, I received a large amount of money (inheritance), and because I'm doing well financially, I decided that half would go to help my parents and siblings (my parents received 50% and my siblings - 4 - 12.5 % each).
OP, is the Oprah of his family.
My parents decided to renovate the house. 2 of my brothers paid off their house debts. My (other) sister asked if she could pay for her IVF treatment with her girlfriend with that money, and I said yes. At no time did I control how they wanted to spend their money.
Josh comes first in OP's heart, Meg.
Well, Meg was super happy with my help and talked about paying for her IVF with Liam (his infertility), and I hesitated.
I'm still best friends with Josh, and I can tell you what they did with him caused years of therapy to get him to start thinking about dating someone. I don't talk to Liam 99% of the time, and I only helped my sister because, after all, she had my nephew. I didn't go to the wedding, and I always made it very clear that it wasn't a relationship I would support, but they were free.
OP hitting Meg with that harsh honesty.
So I told her that I didn't feel comfortable giving her the money for this as it involves Liam, her, and their relationship specifically, so I'd instead help in some other way (renovate the house, pay off debts, refurbish the house) and that I would take double care that the money didn't go to that.
Probably not the best way to get money, Meg.
She started screaming, telling me to get over something that had nothing to do with me, and that was years ago. And that I was treating her and my other sister differently because of the past.
We argued a lot, and I decided to create a fund for my godson that only he could handle at age 18 instead of helping her.
This created even more mess because she claimed that I helped everyone but her and that I was cruel in denying supporting her to have another child when they couldn't naturally.
Well, Internet, should OP give Meg the money? It's in your hands now.
I don't feel comfortable doing this.
AITA?
wickerbasket99 says:
NTA (Not the A**hole). It’s your inheritance money, you get to choose what to do with it. I think setting up a fund for your nephew is a brilliant idea. If she wants another kid so badly, she can go cheat on Liam.
Sea-Confection-2627 says:
NTA.
OK, so you are treating your two sisters differently. So what? One of them didn't put your best friend through the wringer.
The money is yours. You could have chosen to keep the money. You could have given it to Josh, an art museum, or the local animal shelter.
Meg doesn't have any say in what you do with the money. If she really wants another child, she could try adoption.
Snoo_7492 says:
To be fair, you were placing conditions on her that you didn't on your other siblings.
However, given the history, I think it's warranted. It's your money- you don't have to give it to anybody. You don't owe her anything. The fact that you are giving it to her son is more than generous. NTA