'AITA for not letting my wife pursue her dream of being a stay-at-home Instagram mom?'
Man doesn't support his wife's desire to be a stay-at-home mom.
Turbulent_Ruin1495 writes:
My wife and I are in our mid-30s. We met in our 20s, and one of the main things that really made me like her was that she kept working for what she wanted and wasn't really dependent on anyone.
So, for some context, I come from money on my dad's side, while my mom is middle class but not doing as well as my father; they aren't married. My wife and I have one kid who's 3, and she's pregnant with our second. While we both work, our daughter is with my mom since she's retired. My wife pays my mother to watch her.
The problem is that she wants to be a stay-at-home mom. I told her no, as I wasn't supporting that. She asked why, and I said I prefer two working parents as it gives us more income. She said I could support it on my own (which I could). I still told her no.
She asked again and said she wants to be one of those Instagram moms and do more for the kids. I told her I would consider it. She's been bugging me about it, and I told her if she wanted to do part-time, she could, but she would have to take on more of the chores in the house. She said no as she would still be working on Instagram.
I told her Instagram is going to pay less than 5 dollars an hour at first so that's not a real job. She's been crying and bugging me about it for a while. I asked one of my friends, and they said they wouldn't want a financial leech either, which is kinda mean, but I can see that. AITA?
OP added some context:
A main question I keep getting is why only my wife pays for childcare. The answer is she makes less money than me, and we don't split bills 50/50, so it's easier for her to just pay the cheaper bills. She only pays my mother $100 as that's all she will take and won't take any more.
Here are the top judgements from the post:
Select_Silver4695 says:
As a SAHM, absolutely NTA (Not the A^&*ole). She's not staying home because of rising daycare costs or so she could be more present in the kids lives. She's wanting it to be an Insta-mom. To basically exploit your kids and lifestyle.
Jazzlike_Adeptness_1 says:
She wants to be there for her 2 children, to nurture them, to spend quality time with them, to give them her undivided attention…….RECORD SCRATCH! She want to be an Instagram mom! F^%k that noise and forbid her to post your kids online. Omg what is happening right now! The worlds had gone mad.
newreddituser9572 says:
NTA, a tiktok mom’s child is currently missing after she constantly posted her child online. I wouldn’t even allow her to post your children online. That’s too dangerous.
Odd_Welcome7940 says:
NTA. However, unless you just left it out, you are dumb. This is the type of conversation you both should have had long long ago. At the bare minimum while she is pregnant with the first child. This isn't the type of thing sane adults in grown-up relationships don't discuss.
uchequitas says:
I was going to say YTA till I read Instagram. Yeah, no. NTA.
What do you think? Should OP let his wife become an Instagram mom?