Man gets revenge on brother by 'cooking his strawberry.' AITA?

When this man is annoyed with his brother's kitchen practices, he asks the internet:

"AITA for cooking my brother’s strawberry?"

So I have a brother (29M) who loves buying foods that will leave to rot in the fridge. Last week, he bought a bag of fresh strawberries, and when on a work-related trip the day after.

Last night, I was feeling down, and I opened the fridge, and saw the strawberries. No one likes fresh strawberry, so no one bothered to eat it. I checked it and noticed that some are going bad.

Since my brother loves to let his food rots, I decided to make a strawberry cheesecake out of it. I picked strawberries that are still in good condition, while removed the bad parts. Then, I turned them to jam and put them as a topping to the cheesecake.

My brother returned home this morning, and noticed the strawberry cheesecake. He loved it, but realized his strawberry is missing. When I told him that’s the ingredient I used since it is going bad, he got angry.

He said I should have asked permission first before cooking his food. Our mom agreed with him. AITA? I just don’t want to waste that bag of strawberries.

Let's see what readers had to say:

sinsna writes:

Okay, first of all, I doubt your brother "loves" to let food rot. He probably has plans when he buys stuff like that, then gets busy or overwhelmed and forgets it's there, then feels guilty afterwards. You're acting like he's getting off on the idea of rotting food in the fridge.

Secondly, if there were plenty of good ones in the fridge the day you made the cheesecake, and then he was home the next day, you had no reason to use them. Third, unless he was off the grid, you probably could have phoned him or texted him. So yeah, YTA.

wolfinwool writes:

NAH. I mean I get it, he doesn’t want someone using his stuff without permission, but it didn’t look like he was gonna use them anyway. And honestly you made a cake with them that he ate and liked.

If you didn’t use them the alternative would have been just throwing them away. Also, is getting some new strawberries hard? Could just go get new ones. Is this the first time this has happened with something food related?

kyohora writes:

YTA - If it wasn't your food, you should have asked. It doesn't matter the stage of decay, it wasn't yours to to use.

The only exception is when food has gotten past the "starting" to rot stage and is health or cleanliness issue. Then you can throw them away. But if there's enough to make a pie or cake out of, you could have removed the rotten ones, washed it all, and placed it in a safe container to keep them from going bad.

Or, you know, asked him. I've eaten more than a few dodgy fruits in my life and picked out a number of bad berries in a package. For all you know he could have been ready to do that the next day.

But none of that really matters because it wasn't yours. It could have been milk, eggs, fruit, left overs, pickles, soda, or even an entire Thanksgiving Dinner. If it wasn't yours, don't eat it or cook with it without permission. How hard of a concept is that?

noad writes:

Soft YTA. I get you didn't want them rotten, I really do. But it wasn't your strawberries, nor your money to waste. You should have text him: hey your strawberries are going bad, I am going to use them to make a dish ok? If you still want some strawberries I bought you some later.

This way you don't let food rotten, nor you cause damage to your brother. Besides that the only thing you can (and should) do is every time something goes bad, is to talk to him and throw away. If he protest, just say he needs to eat before goes bad because it contaminates other foods on fridge.

thequie writes:

ESH for not communicating better. What you need to do is have a sit down now and come up with some rules for food use. Does your brother expect that his stuff will never be touched even if that does mean it goes bad and gets thrown out?

Or can you agree that after X time stuff is free to be used as long as some of whatever is made is saved for him? Or when something is within so many days of its use by date?

Everyone in the family should be included in this and agree on the rules so everyone has the same expectations on what will happen. I suggest also keeping a pen and some kind of labels handy in the kitchen so when needed things can be dated easily.

(If you agree that fresh berries are up for grabs once they have been in the fridge for 3 days, then you need to know when they arrived to know when 3 days is up, that sort of thing.)

I suggest also talking to your brother more about what he is planning with things - if his schedule is unpredictable he may have plans that he is not able to follow through on, and rather than stuff going to waste maybe you could do some of the recipe for him if you feel like cooking.

(I’m not saying you are responsible for cooking, just that if you knew he’d been planning on making a cake with them perhaps you could have prepared the strawberries the way they needed to be for the cake instead of making jam with them or something like that which would extend their shelf life.

You need to know what he was planning to know if it’s something you are willing to do, though.)

shelflife writes:

NTA he was going to let them rot and he was happily enjoying the cheesecake you made out of them until they noticed their designated rotting fruits were gone. You did him a favor and turned the strawberries into something people would actually eat.

It says nobody eats fresh strawberries in your home, why did your brother even buy them? Is he one of those people who loads up on tons of fresh produce to be healthy but then literally never cooks or does anything with them and they just go bad?

That was the idea I got and if so, ya NTA. He should have thanked you for making a cake he got to eat!

crimnalll writes:

ESH. I understand that you didn't want them to go to waste and that you had a use for them.

Next time let him know that they would have to be thrown out soon but you could make something with the remainder before they went bad.

If he wasn't happy with that arrangement then not much you could do about it. But if he was ok with it, he can't exactly complain afterwards that you used his strawberries.

creeeaziu writes:

Ima say NAH. Why? Cause I don’t like food waste and he regularly has food waste. And he doesn’t seem to mind it being thrown away without ever being used. Honestly I think if you’d never said anything he’d just have assumed they’d gone bad and were thrown away.

On the other hand, you don’t touch other peoples things without asking. That’s-I feel-is pretty common sense basic courtesy. So, he’s got a right to be mad.

I kinda think your point cancels out both your arguments. Because he’s unlikely the only one throwing out food he’s let sit to rot. Hell, as organized as I am in one area o can be a complete disaster in another.

And I’m just not capable of keeping up with everything. And as MUCH as I LOVE to cook and getting only fresh ingredients, sometimes I forget shit. Sometimes I forget leftovers.

Sometimes that’s falls on others to take care of. But I do my absolute best to NOT repeat that behavior. And I modify my space so I can always see everything and take care of it.

Sometimes I’m just so fg tired. Working. Trying to be me in a way that doesn’t make others uncomfortable, masking for what feels like an eternity in every. Single. Interaction. I forget. Shit. So I feel for him too.

I think you guys just need to have an agreement that you can use the stuff he gets for community food if he lets it sit for X time. And then move on. There’s definitely a happy medium to be found here.

fittai099 writes:

I'm really torn on it but I'm going with YTA.

I have ADHD and usually when I buy food I have a plan for it, even if I forget and it goes to waste in my brain it had a purpose.

I also have a problem with binging food because in my house growing up I'd buy snacks for myself and people would steal them. It didn't matter if it was labeled or in my room hidden (it was also creepy because i knew people were going through my underwear drawer for candy). It would get found and eaten.

It took me a long time to trust people enough to get small portions and it's very easy for me to relapse if something I was saving gets eaten without anyone asking.

So, putting myself in your brother's shoes. I would have personally been okay with the cheesecake if you had asked me. I may also tell you "this was my plan. Would you be okay making this? I'll be home tomorrow if not and you can remind me."

I would have been distraught for them to just be missing even though they were used specifically because I was not informed about how something special I bought for myself was used.

dakagdj writes:

NTA sure a quick message would have been nice but op mentioned that letting food go to waste is a common occurrence, the brother probably doesn’t realise how fast fresh fruit rots, by the time he got back he most likely would have just thrown away the strawberries anyway but instead he got a delicious cheesecake