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Man 'roasts' woman with social anxiety for bringing a friend to first date and expecting him to pay. AITA?

Man 'roasts' woman with social anxiety for bringing a friend to first date and expecting him to pay. AITA?


"AITA For Roasting My Date & Her Friend For Bringing Her Friend To Our First Date, And Expecting Me To Pay?"

I (m27) had met this girl (23f) on Bumble a few weeks ago. Got around to talking off-app for a while. We really seemed to hit it off, but she confided in me that she suffers from anxiety and has had some bad experiences with some exes who truly sounded awful, important for later.

We get around to scheduling a dinner date at a restaraunt I really love, and she asked me if her friend could come as well to make her feel safe. I was a little surprised at first, and thought it might make the date a bit awkward, honestly. But I told her that thatd be fine if it helps her feel comfortable. I'd heard about this kind of thing before anyways so I figure it's some new thing women are doing to sus out bad dudes, so I understand where she's coming from.

The problem arises once we actually get to the date, her friend is just as dressed up as she is, and they both seemed excited, so I asked the friend directly what her plans were for this, if she planned to just hang out, if she was ordering for herself or what. The friend starts getting a bit aggressive with me almost right off the bat, telling me that she's basically a part of the date too, and expected me to pay for everyone (I had already offered to pay for me and the girl I was taking on the date, but her friends bill wasn't ever mentioned).

Now in my head, I figure this would've been something where the friend was like, there just in case, but I didn't figure this would mean they'd actually be participating in the date? I straight up tell them that this isn't cool and that I wouldn't have agreed to this, and told the friend, "I'd even be cool if you were standing outside with a damn sword, but unless this is some sort of threesome thing or a polygamous date then this is just weird." Obviously they left and the date didn't end up happening.

Part of me feels like I was correct in pointing out the weirdness and awkwardness this whole situation put me in, and rejecting the date altogether, but I can't help but feel like I went a bit too far getting at them like that in a public place, like I should have just left without a fuss, or gone along with it and just break it off more nicely afterwards. AITA?

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

Own_Strength_7645 said:

As a woman, if I want someone there to "watch out" they’re hanging out at the bar and acting nonchalant. not IN THE DATE???

Accomplished-Drop423 said:

NTA. You didn't invite the friend on the date, your date did. Even if this was genuinely for anxiety purposes, I think you dodged a bullet.

BeardManMichael said:

NTA. They ambushed you with a complete change of plans. Honestly from reading this it sounds like they both expected to use you and take advantage of you. I'm glad you held firm and didn't tolerate any of their BS.

ImWithNeo said:

NTA at all. If she needed support why not make it a double date instead of having the friend awkwardly third-wheeling it?? As a female, I agree with you that this could’ve been them angling for a free dinner. I have heard of girls doing that.

ewkdiscgolf said:

NTA, there was never a good faith intention on your Bumble match’s part to go on a real date, this was a free meal bid on both of their parts all the way. I’m just surprised it was this blatant, though. Block, block, ghost.

Silver_Advantage_536 said:

NTA, this was just weird asf. They really expected you to pay for her friend lmao

Everyone was on OP's side for this one. What's your advice for this situation?

Sources: Reddit
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