Man says no to girlfriend's 'tradition,' 'you can do your stupid blood donation any day.' AITA?
"AITA for saying no my girlfriend’s 'tradition?'"
I (M, 30) lost my younger brother when I was 22. He had cancer and fought very hard. Ever since, I’ve been donating blood on the anniversary of his death every year. I take the day off from work, visit his grave, donate blood, and then come home, relax, and watch his favorite movie. I know it’s a simple, personal tradition, but it means a lot to me.
My girlfriend of 9 months, Anna (F, 31), asked if I could meet her and her mom( I have met her many times before and it wasn’t the meet the parents for the first time situation) for lunch yesterday. I told her no and explained again about what I do on my brother’s death anniversary.
She got upset and said, “Well, it’s my tradition to have lunch with my mom every time she’s in town, and she really wanted to see you! You can do your stupid blood donation tradition any day.”
I explained to her that it’s not just about the blood donation. Later in the evening, while I was resting and watching my brother’s favorite movie, she texted me again, asking me to join them.
I reiterated that I really didn’t want to and would hang out with her mom next time. She replied that I had embarrassed her in front of her mom with my selfishness and laziness. Since then, she’s been distant. Do I owe her an apology? AITA?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
TopAd7154 said:
NTA. She's insensitive and you'd be a fool to stay with her.
No-Blacksmith7458 said:
NTA. Her lack of empathy is a huge red flag, and you shouldn't tolerate that kind of behavior.
SadFlatworm1436 said:
“Stupid blood donation tradition” after that comment I hope she’s soon your ex gf. That is unbelievably upsetting. You haven’t asked her to join you, just to leave you in peace to honor your brother. NTA and I’m sorry for your loss.
addmdc said:
NTA. It’s your day to honor your brother; she should respect that.
WomanInQuestion said:
NTA - she outright called your tradition of honoring your brother stupid. Do you really want to stay with this person?
Courtney_love1 said:
NTA. Honoring your brother on such an important day isn’t something that can be moved around like a regular plan. She should respect that.