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Man shares love saga; 'I'm falling in love with my baby's mom, but she wants to leave.' UPDATED

Man shares love saga; 'I'm falling in love with my baby's mom, but she wants to leave.' UPDATED

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"I’m in love with my baby’s mom, but she wants to leave."

So I (27M) met Mila (25F) like 4 years ago at a bar. Long story short, it was a mutual friend’s birthday, we were at this bar, and we had both just gotten out of long-term relationships.

Hers was 5 years, mine was 4. A LOT of drinking later, it was hella awkward waking up naked on the birthday dude's couch with Mila. But honestly, that wasn’t even the wildest thing that happened that night. The birthday guy? He did something WAY worse.

Anyway, after all that, me and Mila were both super awkward about it. She legit looked like she wanted to crawl under a rock. Neither of us wanted anything serious since we had just broken up with our exes, but we still swapped numbers and went our separate ways.

Fast forward like 3 months, Mila texted me up asking to grab coffee. I thought it was kinda weird, but I figured she might wanna go on a date or something. When I got there, she looked like she’d been crying.

As soon as I sat down, she just started bawling. Turns out, she was pregnant. She hadn’t realized cause she was super stressed and tired, but I was the only person she’d slept with.

My whole life flipped upside down. We did a DNA test, and it was mine. Then she moved in with me cause she was sharing a room with a roommate. The guest room became hers, and my office is now Andreas room, but we call him Andy.

Having a kid wasn’t exactly in my plans, but since Andy came along, my life’s been better, honestly.

Over the years, me and Mila never really had a romantic relationship, except for this one time she kissed me after Andy was born. We get along, I support them, I’m paying for Mila’s grad school (she finishes next year), we split the chores, and I’m always there for whatever she needs.

So, in November, Andy’s gonna turn 3. We’ve been planning his birthday, it's around Halloween, so he and his friends are all gonna dress up. He wants to go as Bingo from Bluey. During one of our talks, Mila asked if I wanted her to move out.

She said now that Andy’s 3, we could co-parent separately, and I could even, like, get a girlfriend if I wanted to. I just went blank and said “no” and dipped to my room.

Here’s the thing: I love her. Having Andy is everything to me, but I’m also legit in love with her. She’s smart, beautiful, caring, thoughtful, kind, dedicated, she’s literally the most perfect person ever.

But I’m way too scared to tell her. We have a kid together, and I’m terrified of ruining everything between us as parents and friends. I don’t know if I should tell her how I feel or just keep pretending everything’s fine so I don’t mess up what we have.

Before we give you OP's update, let's take a look at some top comments and responses from OP:

frantyu writes:

Brother you gotta tell her cause if you don’t someone else is gonna see what you see in her and at that point it’ll be too late you already have a starting point just use what you wrote in the beginning of last paragraph and go from there don’t let fear block your happiness.

oddisnts writes:

I see. Can I just ask, in those 3.5 years neither of you dated anyone? I am amazed two people in their mid-20s can live together in total celibacy in this way.

fact98 writes:

I’ve had a few dates, but never anything more serious than like two dates. She doesn’t go out much, she told me that night we spent together was super out of character for her, and honestly, in the past 4 years, it seems like it. Sometimes we hang out to see our friends or hit up the movies if I can actually get her outta the house hahaha.

UPDATE:

So, I (27M) posted my story a few days ago, and yesterday I finally talked to Mila (25F).

Quick recap: me and Mila had a baby together after a one-night thing. Ever since, we’ve been living together and I’m in love with her. She’s absolutely stunning, breathtaking even, but I’ve been too scared to tell her how I feel because I didn’t want to mess up our co-parenting situation.

So, I left work early, picked up Andy from nursery, and dropped him off at my mom’s. I bought some flowers, cleaned up the house while she was in class, and texted her, saying she didn’t need to pick up Andy and to just come home because we needed to talk.

When she got home, she looked at me with her big eyes wide open, and the first thing she asked about was our kid. I hugged her for a while, but she went full mommy bear mode and kept asking about our baby boy.

After I reassured her that he was with my mom and totally fine, she finally calmed down. I brought her to the living room, gave her the bouquet, and started talking.

It was a long convo. I told her how I’ve been scared of ruining things and how it hurt when she asked if I wanted her to leave. She admitted she was afraid she was messing up my life, that she feels like a burden sometimes, and even blames herself for "ruining" my life with the pregnancy.

I shut that down real quick. I never wanted kids, but honestly, since Andy and Mila came into my life, everything’s been way better. It’s been the best, most challenging “mistake” I’ve ever made.

She also said she likes me too, and she’s felt that way since she was pregnant but wasn’t sure if it was just the hormones. After the baby, she felt embarrassed to say anything because she didn’t feel comfortable in her body anymore.

She never got back to her pre-pregnancy body and thought I wouldn’t find her attractive. But to me, she’s the most beautiful and hot woman on the planet.

She also admitted she’d get jealous when I went on dates, even though she knew it didn’t make sense because we weren’t "a thing." Honestly, if she went on dates, I’d be dying of jealousy too.

We talked for a long time, even got into some deeper, more personal stuff. By the time we were done, it was late. We went to this small restaurant near our place for dinner. No wine 'cause I was driving, but it was amazing.

We chatted about music, movies, and she went off about ASOIAF for ages while I rambled on about LOTR. We talked about life and random stuff. At the end of the night, I got a few kisses in the car, like we didn’t even live together, which was kinda cute.

Then we watched a horror movie(awful movie btw), but she fell asleep cuddling me. It was a day full of wins.

Sources: Reddit
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