Man shows BF incriminating video of his parents; 'I felt he had to know.' AITA?
"AITA for showing my boyfriends family a video of my parents that showed them in a negative light?"
I'll (16M) try to keep this brief(ish). 4 years ago my parents found out they were expecting a girl. Even though stuff was all closed and we were meant to stay home, they threw a huge gender reveal because they had always wanted a girl and wanted to celebrate the fact they were getting a girl with everyone they knew.
My parents took video of their reaction and one they posted to their socials at the time. It was of them screaming and crying and cheering that they had their dream come true, getting the child they always dreamed of, the daughter they had always wanted and how they couldn't wait to be parents.
The video got taken down after mom's sister told her she had no idea how lucky she was to have a healthy child and went no contact with my parents (she and her husband had fertility trouble and couldn't have kids).
But I knew from a really early age I disappointed my parents by being a boy. Looking at photos and videos of them before me vs after me, you can see the joy fade. They were told I was a girl.
Had clothes, a nursery and everything set up for a girl. They even had a name picked out for girl me. Then I was born a boy. The only "family photos" of us I have is from the first couple of weeks of my life. They never bothered to take any with me afterward.
There are photos of us with extended family but like just me and them over the 12 years of my life? Nah. And even now they have so many taken with the girl of their dreams they finally had but I'm not in any of them. I also found out through extended family that another family member named me because they didn't want to think of boys names they were so disappointed.
I basically live with them as a distant roommate. We don't eat together or do anything together. Mostly that works for me. My boyfriend (16) was my best friend before we started going out and his family were always more like my family.
I was at his grandparents house to celebrate their wedding anniversary with the family and talk of my parents came up and everyone kinda knows how shitty they are but not really. So I told them about the video and some of my boyfriends family were struggling to believe they'd post it.
I showed them a screenshot I had of the video on my mom's account and then showed the video. They were really upset by the reaction. Everyone said it was like they were first time parents and his grandma got kinda teary thinking of me being there at the time watching it.
My parents found out because my boyfriends mom basically told my mom how awful she was. My parents said I had no business showing anyone and wanted to know why I even had it. I told them I keep it in case I need to remember how they really feel about me. AITA?
Let's see what readers thought:
ctysial writes:
NTA. I wish your BF's mom had kept her mouth shut because she pretty much just made things worse for you, in a way, but ultimately your parents are massive AHs, to the point the term AH doesn't even feel applicable.
It's always interesting when people get mad over their own actions, you know? They, as adults, set up that entire situation, filmed it, posted it. They said the things they did in that video.
They have spent the last 16 years of your life treating you like an unwelcomed stranger. And.... they're mad that someone saw this and called them out for it? They obviously are not actually reflecting on their actions or words or their impact, they are just stuck in a victim mindset.
Keep your head down and move out as soon as you're able. None of this is your fault. You don't owe them discretion by keeping this video or you feelings about them a secret.
vanighs writes:
Sorry about the sucky parts of your family life, and of course NTA in this specific argument with your parents, mainly because of the ludicrous claim that you have no right to possess or show a video that they originally posted on social med.
lilac writes:
NTA. If they’re going to criticize your cooking, they should know the full story. Plus, seeing the video might help them realize how much effort goes into making meals and give them some perspective.