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Man 'solves' ex's problem with neighbor's dog without her consent. 'We broke up over this.' AITA?

Man 'solves' ex's problem with neighbor's dog without her consent. 'We broke up over this.' AITA?


"AITAH for solving my ex-girlfriend's problem without her consent? We broke up over this?"

Basically, my gf (now ex) lives in an apartment building where she shares her floor with just one other tenant, but the dude lets his big dog sleep in the hallway between their front doors.

The dog does what dogs do: It thinks the hallway is its territory, so it defends it. It never bit anyone but it'd usually growl and look aggressive whenever my ex or myself walked past it to go to her apartment.

My ex just would not shut up about how much she hated that dog being there (she is squeamish around dogs at the best of times) but the dog's owner is a massive-looking tatted-up dude, and she'd keep whining that she didn't dare speak up to him because he scared her.

I talked to the dude a couple times here and there and, while he looks dangerous, he seemed to me like a chill guy, so I kept telling her to just talk to him and I was sure he'd understand. But my ex was adamant: ABSOLUTELY NOT, because she was afraid he'd get angry at her and retaliate somehow.

Well, three days ago, I was sick of hearing her complaining about the dog again and again, I just got up, walked to the neighbor's door, rang the bell, he answered, I asked if he could avoid leaving the dog in the common area because it makes my gf uncomfortable, and his reaction was "Oh gosh, I didn't realize! My apologies, it will never happen again."

Boom, solved. But when I got back in my gf's apartment, she was ENRAGED at me. Said she wanted an apology from me for helping her "without her consent" and that she thought I was "putting her at risk" because she lived next to the guy, and what if he was a secret serial killer and by telling him to keep his dog indoors I made HER his next victim?????

I tried to be patient but she was screaming at the top of her lungs and completely freaking out and not listening to me telling her that her neighbor is a normal dude who would have removed his dog earlier if she had politely asked him to.

Nooo, she just needed to screech at me about paranoid fears of somehow "making an enemy" out of the neighbor and how I am the one who started the war but she's the one who will be a victim of it. I repeatedly told her that there is no war, no conflict, no nothing and that she should just CALM DOWN, but she screamed at me that she never wants to talk to me again until I sincerely apologize.

I believe I have nothing to apologize for, so I guess we'll never talk again. I've heard earlier today from my ex's sister that my ex is waiting for me to call AND APOLOGIZE and that I'm apparently a pig for not doing it yet.

I told her that I have nothing to apologize for, and the sister blew up on me saying that I absolutely need to apologize "after all I did to my ex". Never got the chance to even ask her what those horrible things I did supposedly are, she hung up on me.

I used to be good friends with my ex's family and I hate to lose not only her but them too. So, am I wrong for believing I did nothing that requires apologizing for and being stubborn about that? AITAH?

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

-Sharon-Stoned- said:

Telling an upset person to calm down has never, in the history of upset people, made the situation better.

Hemenucha said:

NTA. You, my friend, have dodged a bullet. That kind of irrational behavior is not a one-time occurrence.

LikePaleFire said:

I'd love to see the ex's version of this because it feels massively exaggerated to make her look bad idk.

xXJustDanielleXx said:

ESH - she’s right. Don’t go stir the pot and blame HER for it. YOU didn’t want to hear about the dog anymore, so you should have told the guy YOU were scared if you needed to throw anyone under the bus. I know that it seems fine to you, but men aren’t the frequent victims of serial killers, so please listen when the women jn your life say they’re scared. I think you should apologize.

Lagoon2468 said:

YTA Don't interfere with other people's relationships. If the guy had not been reasonable, it would not be you who had to suffer the consequences.

NoEnvironment8138 said:

Going against the grain and saying YTA- yes she is being completely irrational but you choose to be with this person. She was explicit in asking you NOT to speak to the neighbor and you went against her own wishes in her own space. Rational or not you made her feel uncomfortable in her home after going against her wishes.

The opinions were fairly divided for this one. What's your advice for this couple?

Sources: Reddit
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