I (27F) went on a date with Jack (30M) recently. It was our first & last date. I didn't know him really well & we only know eachother through friends. We were set up by one of them & we talked a bit before deciding to go out. He seemed normal.
We went to a cafe. Now we had only gotten there ( just sat down) when he got a call from his mum, no big deal, he took the call in front of me so I had no other option to hear what he was talking about. He told his mum that we had arrived & its all fine. I thought that's fine maybe he was anxious or something or his mum was wishing him luck.
We got talking & within half an hour his mum called again, he picked it up & gave her an update of everything we had talked about in the last 30 mins! It weirded me out but then she proceeded to call him 3 more times within 2 hours! & he would recap everything we had talked about right in front of me & then go back to conversation as if nothing had happened.
I even commented about his mom's constant calling & he said he's a 'mama's boy' It weirded me out so I cut our date short & turned down his idea for dinner. When I reached home I messaged him that I had a good time but I couldn't see a future with him as our personalities were poles apart. He responded an 'okay best of luck'.
Obviously the friend who had set us up asked me about the date & I told her about his mum calling every half an hour. I also told my friends about the date.
Now apparently he asked out another girl & she turned him down, he found out that people knew about this situation. He's sent me a text calling me some nice words & saying that it was private information? & I shouldn't have told people about it.
I mean it wasn't the constant calling that stuck out to me, it was the fact that he was literally recapping everything to her. This whole severe codependency situation didnt sit right with me at all. I do think I might be an a@*#ole because I told his private business to the world but also maybe not?
Lexi_The_G says:
NTA. He's publicly taking calls, how is that private information?
Throwawayhater3343 writes:
NTA OP, at all. He publicly took the call and shared all of YOUR information with his mother. You did not consent to that, but he certainly felt that he had a right to share it. You had EVERY RIGHT to share the fact that he interrupted your meal and conversation multiple times to relate the entire date to his mother, that was %100 your business to share.
Nervous_Explorer_898 comments:
Oh no. You can't just leave Mommy behind and give her the deets second hand. He'll be demanding she come along and share their hotel room. Kind of reminds me of that post of the woman who dumped her newly married husband at the airport because he invited his mother to the honeymoon without telling her.
ACatGod points out:
But it's also her information. She went on this date too. It's not like she just happened to overhear him. She went on a date where the guy took 5 phone calls in 2h all from his mother. She's allowed to tell people her experience.
To which binneapolitan replied:
Please stop trying to explain this from a rational point of view. Can't you understand that this is his mama? Some girl talked about his mama! How dare she! What he says to his mama is private! How much he talks to his mama is private! Sheesh! The nerve!
Full-Neighborhood908 says:
And I’m willing to bet that since his mom was the one CONSTANTLY calling him that she’s one of the moms who decided no girl is good enough for her baby boy. They have an unhealthy relationship.
OP mbj19758 responded:
Yeah that's the vibe I got.
OMG guys this blew up. Thanks for all the responses. Jack's been blocked from my phone as hes sent me a few more of his 'nice' messages.