Man stages intervention for pregnant daughter; 'The baby name you chose is INSANE, Being an INFLUENCER has RUINED you.' AITA? UPDATED 2X

When this father is worried about his daughter's sanity, he asks the internet:

"AITAH for staging an intervention and calling my daughter delusional over a name?"

I (50+m) have a daughter (26f). She is currently a tiktok influencer, and pregnant with a boy. She is obsessed with this influencing thing, everything being about the numbers. Her husband has been evicted to the attic, because he "ruins her aesthetic" that is for the videos.

He isn't allowed to bring his items or clothes outside of it, and whenever he as much as forgets a cup on the table, she will scream. My wife and I tried to guide her into therapy, and have been paying for the appointments, but we do not know if she has actually been going.

And now she is pregnant, which means it isn't just her and my son in law's problem, it is also a problem for my grandson. She wants no toys in the house for similar reasons, and has banned us from buying any.

She doesn't want colourful baby clothes, because the baby will stand out on her videos too much. And then... Then there is the name.

Rawbhynne Marveigh Lynter.

While I appreciate that the two middle names are comprised of the names of both sets of grandparents (Marvin and Leigh, Lynn and Peter), the amalgams are awful. And Rawbhynne is her spelling of Robin, because she "doesn't want her son to be a sidekick", whatever that means.

She doesn't care that he will get bullied, that his name will be mispronounced, misspelled, and a nightmare on any official capacity. That he will grow to be an adult with the name, instead of staying as a baby. It was the last straw.

So I staged an intervention after regular talking didn't work. I contacted everyone we both know, and even posted on Reddit to try to convince her that it's a fg horrible idea, and that she needs to think of more than what will look nice for her tiktoks or get her more views.

She will have a child, and that child's needs and wellbeing should be a priority. Naming him a ridiculous word salad and depriving him of toys and joy is not an environment suitable for a child. She called me an asshole, and I called her delusional in return.

I really don't think I'm the asshole here, but my wife's family seems to think I overreacted since it's "just a name". But if she's willing to do all of this just for stupid views on an app, what else is she going to do to this child for the sake of her "influencing"? AITAH?

EDIT: Her and her husband have separated twice in the past, but always end up together again. They keep breaking up and rekindling over and over again. They had an impromptu marriage on valentine's day to "heal their relationship" as they now have a child on the way. The tiktok thing has been a frequent source of pain for them.

Before we give you OP's updates, let's take a look at some top comments and responses from OP:

aghagy writes:

It's not just the name. It's just the last straw. It's everything else. It's that she's neglecting her husband, she's going to deprive her son of toys, which are necessary for healthy development, it's that she's refusing to listen to reason, or consider how the child will feel or grow up. It was simply my breaking point.

floratist55 writes:

Toys are absolutely necessary for healthy child development, and her behaviour towards my son in law is growing to be abusive. She is prioritising the aesthetic over the wellbeing of her family. This behaviour is going to escalate based on how she has been going, and that is what worries me.

ga89 writes:

This lady is being borderline abusive to her husband. How abusive is she going to be to her child? Her husband probably can't afford a divorce anyway--who the hell can afford two households these days?

So I think staging the intervention is the right thing to do. Now, nothing she is doing is illegal, but it definitely is wrong. All over stupid tiktok? She needs to wake up and join the real world, before she gets even worse.

OOP: He can afford a divorce, but they have been together since secondary school, and gets along well with our family. One of my sons was his best man, and I think he might be afraid we will hate him for divorcing her. I'll talk to him about it when he gets out of work.

Update 1:

This is a bit anticlimactic. We had a family meeting after my daughter's husband got out of work, and presented her the Reddit threads, as well as some stories that people shared in the comments.

She was reading the comments for about an hour, while they kept pouring in, and it overwhelmed her. Didn't help that I kept responding to comments during this time, which was stupid and inconsiderate of me, I did apologise to her, but she doesn't have it in her to forgive me at this moment.

At first she was very quiet, before admitting that she needed help. She said that she was struggling with feeling fulfilled after her work was made remote back in the original lockdown, and needed more things to do that separated work from home. It's where the influencing came in.

The numbers going up gave her the same reward that work used to, and she wanted to replicate it with a mommy blog as her other one stagnated. Her husband suggested that she picks up art again, and offered to buy her art supplies. She agreed.

Turns out that a lot of you were right, and that the names were inspired by the Twilight. She wanted to honour the grandparents, which was nice, but couldn't think of any names that fit. She also wanted a bird name as the first name, but didn't want a plain Robin.

One of my sons suggested the name Adler, as well as Arne, Arvid and Ari from my SIL's culture. And she agreed to one of them. I'm not going to reveal the new middle names for freshly discovered privacy reasons, but some of the comments gave her good ideas.

My daughter seems so defeated now, but says it is because she didn't realise how much the numbers on her social media was taking her over. She agreed to delete the mommy blog at her husband's request, and she said she will limit her personal account to just the makeup and fashion content she used to do.

Time will see how this goes. My SIL is still apprehensive, as he's had to have been on eggshells in their home, and isn't happy about the tiktok at all with her past behaviour.

He says he wants this to work, which is why he married her despite everything, but that if she doesn't actually go to the therapy my wife and I paid for, he's going to look at options for leaving. He wants to say to one of the comments that he isn't a "wet blanket", but was just trying to keep his wife healthy for the sake of their unborn child.

Some of the comments regarding how creeps use mommy blogs as material for their unsavoury desires also was a wake-up call for all of us, and none of us will post photos or information relating to our family children online.

Wife is taking her shopping for baby clothes sometime next week, and she managed to convince her that toys are not "clutter", but necessary for kids. She reminded my daughter of her own favourite toys, and how upset she was when one of them disappeared.

So while I was an asshole, it helped my daughter a little bit. Reddit helped a lot more, and I would like to thank you for indulging me in this.

XxtrippingpandaxX Was your son in law finally able to move out of the attic ? He should be able to enjoy his own home like you said.. your daughter was incredibly abusive to him ( yes forcing him to live in the attic and not enjoy his own home or she would scream at him is abuse, she cinderella’d him ) has she apologized to him for what she did ? Is she remorseful ?

OOP: They were arguing about where his stuff should be while I was typing this update. He collects and tinkers with old electronics, and she said she doesn't want them in the main parts of the house because they're ugly and take a lot of space. He wasn't directly evicted, but it's where he spent most of his time, because it's where his belongings were.

My wife, the beautiful angel that she is, recommended that they turn the guest room into his mancave, or convert the garage as it isn't in use due to convenience. They went back home, so I am not sure if they have come to a conclusion now.

Coyotelightning-T: I'm glad to hear she's doing better.

I think it's also important for her to know that bright colors and playtime with toys is VERY important for child development. Like everyone well versed in child development and psychology will tell you this. I hope your wife informed her about this when talking about toys

OOP: My wife is a primary school teacher, which is why she was able to get through to our daughter regarding child development. Both of us reiterated how important toys are, and that it is a mandatory part of parenting.

Update 2:

Since Reddit managed to successfully convince her not to use Rawbhynne, she is now asking for opinions about her "toned down" baby name list that she has for future kids. I told her it is not a good idea, but here we go:

Girls: Laureleigh Ashelynn Asheleigh Jiuliette Jiulianne Jiulileighlynn (I said it reminds me of ukulele)

Boys: Marteynn Petrynn Kartynn (I have no idea what it's trying to be) Oatley Huntre Pentti

No, they aren't typos. Yes, she still likes the double n too much. Yes, I know the answer. My daughter still desires opinions. Pentti is there as a joke as it's considered an "old uncle" type of name in her husband's culture, and I have some clients in their 60s with the name, but otherwise it's normal.

She's doing well in therapy despite this setback. Her current baby is still having a sensible name. She has some normal names on her list, like Jenna, Markus and Olli.

So what do you think, Reddit?

OOP on if his daughter really likes how the names sound like Jiulileighlynn

OOP: She insists she loves how it sounds, and is convinced that everyone will grow accustomed to it and like it. I just can't hear ukulele. My wife is Leigh, and her husband's mother is Lynn, which is where this enthusiasm comes from.

Oh, but it wouldn't be the same according to her, and she doesn't want to give a child any direct name from the grandparents. Only the Twilighting is allowed. I told her that any name she invents will probably have the same result.

OOP on if his daughter was dealing with any pregnancy side effects like depression

OOP: Her pregnancy related depression is making a lot of things tough at the moment. She is stuck thinking that her child will somehow struggle if she doesn't give them a name that is unique enough to not have the problems she did with her very common name.

One of her brother's friends brought up a privacy issue, that when you Google a unique name, sometimes only one person shows up, and makes privacy into a giant issue, so its a yet another reason as to why we recommend a normal name.

How old is OOP’s daughter and if she was inspired by those names from somewhere else

OOP: Turning 27

She's successful in a high paying field, married to a good man, but just keeps struggling with her self worth and how she feels disposable. It's where the baby names come in, because she wants to give them what she didn't have, so that they're special a won't be ignored. I failed her as a dad.