Man storms out of family gathering for being seated with the kids; AITA?
While it's normal for families to seat all the kids together at holidays or family events, what do you do with the 22-year-olds?
If you're old enough to vote, drink alcohol, pay rent and know what tax bracket you're in...you'd think you'd be able to join in on the potentially R-rated conversation with Aunt Lisa, right? Wrong! When a frustrated young man decided to vent to the moral compass of internet strangers of Reddit's 'Am I the As*hole' people were eager to help deem a crucial verdict.
AITA (Am I the As*hole) for leaving a family gathering because my family made me sit at the kids' table?
For context: I haven't seen my full family together in quite some time, so they set up a get together at a park today. The family gathering includes me (22m), my brother (21), my sister (25), her husband (29) and their two kids, my dad, step-mom and her kids (6 and 9) aunt, uncle, my two cousins (15 and 20), grandma, and grandpa.
I get there with some picnic items (I brought a quiche and the cups) and see a few members setting up. I say hi and help set up the tables and set the food out. We talk and play games while the others show up.
When everyone gets there, we sit down to eat. I sit next to my dad and get a weird look from my aunt as she says to me, 'this is the adult's table.'
To which I reply, ' am an adult(?).' She tells me that the 1st and 2nd generations are considered adult and the 3rd and 4th generations should sit at the kid's table since we 'don't have much to contribute to adult conversations.'
I tell her that I can drink, that I drove here, that I pay rent and have a job, so how am I still considered a child? She says that until I have kids of my own I'll have to sit at the kid's table.
According to my aunt, there are 8 children (ages 6-22) and 8 adults (ages 25-75) so I should just sit at the kid's table since it'll be even, but there is plenty of space at the adult table and I don't want to be stuck with 5 literal children.
She still disagrees and at this point my uncle and grandparents back her up, so I say f*ck it, take my quiche back, tell them to have a nice day, and drive away. I get a few texts telling me to come back by my dad and grandparents.
I ask if aunt is going to apologize and they ask 'for what?' That was enough for me to disregard their other messages and calls until I got home, where I am now.
I feel sh*tty that I may have possibly ruined a nice family gathering, but feel my family doesn't respect me at all, enough to say that I am still a child and apparently have the same mentality as 6 year olds. AITA?
Here's what the jury of internet strangers had to say about this family drama...
alsmit250 said:
NTA - I love you took your quiche with you too.
CrisirR said:
NTA, don't feel bad about yourself dude and don't take it too personally. This happens a lot in families, hell, I wasn't treated as an adult till I was over 25.
You can't 'talk' your way into family treating you as an adult, sometimes it's more effective to disappear for a while and do your own thing out of their sight. Sometimes it just takes your long absence for people to take you seriously.
tjtwister1522 said:
NTA, what you did was completely justified. However, you could have just sat there and ate your food. If your aunt and others kept pressing you could have just said 'I'm sitting here or I'm heading home. Which do you prefer?'
WatchWatermelon said:
Why leave the cups though? I would have taken those. Oh, you have nothing to drink out of? Guess 'the adults' didn't plan that well.
NervousOperation318 said:
Well if the other “adults” are like your aunt, I don’t blame your brother or cousins for preferring the company of children. And NTA, kids tables are usually for actual children, like under 12 years old.
Not sure why your aunt thinks she has the right to decide who has something to contribute to the conversation, she doesn’t sound particularly worldly herself.
MiskiMoon said:
NTA. They wanted you to play babysitter.