Man 'surprises' wife with 2-year-old untrained pitbull mix. AITA? 'He thinks I'm overreacting.'

"AITA? My husband got a 'surprise dog'"...

Hi! So my husband got a dog as a “surprise”. We both work jobs that require us to be at work from 6am to 4pm or 8am to 4pm and will require us to be gone for a minimum of 2days -2weeks without notice (although most of the times we are notified at least a week in advance).

I’ve never voiced excitement about wanting a dog and the few times we’ve talked about it in the past I’ve said it’s not a good idea. He got the dog and I wasn’t happy and I voiced my concerns and all he got from it was I made him feel like a “POS” and that it made him view me in a “different light."

Also, am I selfish for not wanting a dog because it’s basically one step below a child. I want to be able to go places freely without having to pay for someone to keep the dog etc. The dog is basically an untrained 2 year old Pitmix/Pitbull?

That poops & pees everywhere. He doesn’t have the time to train him constantly because he works and gets off at 4. I personally have been doing things to stay out later in the evening like going to the gym or swimming just to avoid being home because I absolutely abhor the constant poop and pee and the wet spots.

It’s also concerning because I know if too much of that happens then the flooring will have to be replaced and even the walls. I’ve toured a house where it reeked of dog poop/piss and I refused to even consider it and I want to rent the house when we move out and I’m scared it will be like that house.

It doesn’t matter what I’ll say he’ll just make me seem like the bad guy about how I make him feel bad and I’m never happy with anything. I feel like it’s causing a rift in our marriage because he thinks I’m overreacting and he’s unable to see my POV. Anyways long rant but am I the a-hole?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

SandsinMotion said:

NTA. Find a good home for the dog and potentially the husband. I’m a total dog person, but you’re not and more important you have no time. He is being irresponsible, unreasonable and flat out juvenile. And now he’s sending you on a guilt trip. Don’t go. Seriously find the dog a good home, it is not fair to it to be locked in a home and be untrained and unloved.

Covert-Wordsmith said:

It sounds like your husband got a dog behind your back because he wanted one, but also expects you to be the one to take care of it because you're home earlier. NTA. Poor dog.

LittleCats_3 said:

NTA. Bad pet owners are the worst. Dogs require a lot of time and energy: to train them, to care for them, and to make sure they are happy and healthy. If you don’t have the time, and you clearly don’t, it’s a disservice to the dog to have them as a pet.

Unless you are willing and able to spend the money sending your dog to daycare and training, this is a bad situation. It’s not even about the two of you it’s about the dog itself and the quality of life this animal will have in your care.

Does he think dogs WANT to go poo/pee inside, because they really don’t. If both people in a relationship aren’t enthusiastic yes’s to getting a dog (or ANY pet), then it’s a no. Honestly I would view him in a different light.

IchiroTheCat said:

NTA. You don't say how old either of you are, but your husband is behaving like a spoiled, entitled, 8-year-old. I would not live in urine and feces. I would be moving out. At least until he steps up and acts like an adult. You are 1/2 way out now.

Get all your important papers. Move a bit of stuff at a time so he won’t notice. Then, take one day while he is at work and leave. He wanted the dog, he can learn to care for one. Best of luck.

Such_Gazelle_1917 said:

NTA. He most definitely is one. This should have been discussed and agreed upon thoroughly beforehand. Please please please do not have this man’s children.

Serious-Classroom139 said:

NTA. How dare he adopt a dog that has probably already been in way too many stressful situations and make it even worse. Now that you’ve had this dog and the dog still isn’t getting what it needs, it’ll be even harder for it to get adopted again. Your husband is selfish and cruel and lacking in empathy.

Find someone to take in that poor dog, you are being extremely cruel. Sorry to be so harsh, but if he wants to compare it to a child…would HE treat a child like that? Ignore it all day everyday just because it’s inconvenient? This post makes me so upset.

Later, OP responded with:

UPDATE: The dog was returned by him to the previous fosters. Thank you all for your responses.