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Man tells casual date that he doesn't want to 'play daddy' with her kid. AITA?

Man tells casual date that he doesn't want to 'play daddy' with her kid. AITA?

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"AITA for telling her that I don't want to see and bond with her child?"

I've been seeing this girl casually for close to 2 months now. We met at a bar when a friend of mine introduced her to me. We've met up probably twice a week at night to hook-up. After our first night, we had a conversation about what the deal was.

I told her that I got out of a 6-year relationship recently and that I wasn't looking for anything serious. She told me that she got divorced recently and she's not looking for anything serious either so we agreed to keep things casual and strictly physical.

By our 4th night, she told me that she has a 3 year old. This was a bit of a shock to me as she doesn't appear to be a mum at all. Her daughter (who she has full custody over) stays with her parents when able which allows her to have free time to do whatever. She would show me pictures and videos of her daughter and she is a really cute baby so I played along but I obviously didn't want anything to do with her kid.

Yesterday, she tells me to come over to her place. I get there, she greets me at the door and I ask her if her daughter is with her parents. She said no she's with me in the living room. I was a bit surprised and I asked her why she would invite me over if the baby was there.

She said that we have been seeing each other for a while, it's about time you meet her right? I said no, I don't necessarily want to meet your baby. Don't get me wrong, she's gorgeous but I don't want "to play daddy."

She said aw come on, don't be shy! I said "I'm not shy, I don't think this is a good idea. We're just hooking up, that's it. Do you just introduce your daughter to every guy that sleeps with you? I have no interest in bonding with your child. You had her with another man. I'm not here with fill that void."

"The only reason I even came to your place is because I thought you were alone since your parents take her some nights. If I knew she was here, I never would've came. We ended up having a huge fight and I just left."

She kept saying how I was being unreasonable for not even greeting her daughter but I think it was perfectly reasonable for me to try and keep the child out of our arrangement.

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

budackee_10 said:

NTA, she knew the deal from the get go.

anathema_deviced said:

As a single parent, NTA. You don't introduce your kids to anyone who is casual, or anyone you've been seeing for less than six months. I've been seeing a guy for a year and my kids still haven't met him because neither of us is interested in integrating our families.

United_Fig_6519 said:

NTA but stop this situation-ship what ever fling you have going on. She clearly is looking for someone to be daddy. You have a right now want to play one. I agree with you she should not be introducing her new bf possibilities (you are not even bf yet) to her child that soon.

Cursd818 said:

NTA. She was clearly trying to bait and switch you by agreeing that it's just sex but slowly trying to rope you into her family until you were too emotionally invested to get out. I would cut all contact with her to be honest. Not only is she looked for something different than you are willing to offer, but she was manipulative about it as well. Cut your losses.

CrabbiestAsp said:

NTA. Introducing your f-k buddy to your kid after two months is ridiculous. She is setting herself and her poor kid up for regular disappointment if she keeps doing this with other dudes.

Jolly-Bandicoot7162 said:

NTA. Relationships often fizzle after 3-4 months even when they aren't supposed to be casual, and she's a pretty awful parent if she is introducing that poor child to anyone she's seeing casually for mere weeks. The child deserves better than a revolving door of "step-dads."

Everyone was on OP's side for this one. What's your advice for this situation?

Sources: Reddit
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