'AITA for telling my BIL it's cringe to continue saying he's child free?'
'AITA for telling my BIL it's cringe to continue saying he's child free?'
My wife (27) and I (27) have a 4 year old son, we've been having an incredibly busy work schedule of the last 2 years and family's been doing a great job helping out with our son.
We usually have members of my in-laws take our son whenever we have a work trip or a shift coming up. from my wife's mom to her sister to her dad except for my 31 year old brother in law (wife's brother).
He's made it clear he is just not interested in spending time with his nephew, keeps saying that the reason for that is that he's actually 'child free.' for so many emergencies he has turned me and my wife away when we begged him to watch our son and he didn't even budge or apologize for his attitude.
it all came to head a couple of days ago, I had a work meeting while my wife was out of town and my in-laws were attending a wedding so no one was free to watch my son except for my BIL. I showed up to his place and told him I was desperate for help and needed him to just watch my son for 2 hours.
He refused, even suggested I take him with me to work but that's not a good suggestion. I begged him and he just said no. I had enough I confronted him and asked why? does he not like his nephew and he threw that 'no it's just that I'm child free' excuse which made me lose it.
I told him to just stop because it's cringe of him to keep saying that and use it as an excuse to be unsupportive of me and his sister and cold towards his nephew. I told him he should really do better and stop being so negative but he got mad and said I had no right to disrespect his lifestyle/choices but it's the attitude that gets me.
we had an exchange of words where he said my son isn't his responsibility whatsoever then I left. he complained to my inlaws and they 'called me out' for disrespecting their son and treating him like that.
They insisted that he's not responsible for my son and I shouldn't expect so much from him then guilt him about it. they wanted me to apologize and my wife said I should but he was about as helpful and supportive as a rock so, I decided I will take my time before I consider apologizing. AITA?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
GreekAmericanDom said:
YTA. For f$^ks sake, how entitled are you? Your. BIL has been clear about who he is and what he won’t due, but because that’s not convenient to you, you feel you can disrespect you.
This is a failure of your organization. How can you guys not have a sitter? I am a single dad and never ended up in your situation, because I planned for it.
[deleted] said:
YTA. why is everyone raising your child except you and your wife…? Also? No one even needs a reason to not watch YOUR kid. He shouldn’t have even opened the door. Your kid is YOUR. KID.
JustNoThrowsAway said:
YTA. He has made it incredibly clear that he isn't interested in being responsible for your child. I would wager he's saying 'that's why I'm child-free' not saying 'I won't watch him because I'm child-free,' but that's just a guess. Hire a babysitter. He is not obligated to watch your child just because he's family.
AITAthrowSat3 OP:
ok but to the point of refusing and ignoring his nephew completely? Even when We're at my in-laws and he's there too. he's just sitting there like a stone and ignoring his nephew. my wife agrees that he seems unwell but I don't know exactly what's going on with him.
OK, but then why do you even WANT to leave your child unattended with this person???
[deleted] said:
YTA. 'For so many emergencies he has turned me and my wife away when we begged him to watch our son'. Why do you keep asking and expecting a different result? Some people just aren't comfortable with kids, whether they're related or not. He's one of those people. Delete him from your list of go-tos.
The_Bookish_One said:
YTA. Stop demanding that he watch your kid when he’s made it clear every time that his answer is no.
AITAthrowSat3 OP:
I was actually asking him to do my a favor. I would've helped him in a heartbeat had the roles been reversed.