'AITA for telling someone that his 'achievement' just meant that he had rich parents?'
"AITA for telling someone that his 'achievement' just meant that he had rich parents?"
I (23m) have been with my current company for a year now. Recently, a new guy (Jack) joined our team fresh out of college. Last Friday my manager invited everyone to a bar after work.
There, Jack told everyone about an achievement that he obtained over spring break: he visited his 150th country (Cambodia). In contrast to everyone else, who were asking things such as “What was the best/worst/strangest thing you ate,” “Which countries were your favorite,” and “Any cool stories,” I just said “Good for you” and went back to my drink.
Jack noticed me being quiet and asked me why I wasn’t joining in. I said “Don’t worry about me” but Jack kept pressing the issue.
I finally said “Jack, visiting 150 countries is cool and all but it doesn’t say anything about you as a person. It just means you had rich parents who could afford to travel internationally several times a year.”
(I grew up poor, (literally) worked my a$s off in high school, got a full ride merit scholarship, and did everything humanly possible to land my current 6-figure job. Rich people who think they’re better than everyone else just because they had rich parents is a HUGE pet peeve of mine.
But my coworkers don't know any of that, since I like to keep work and my personal life as separated as possible.) Jack got really quiet after that and left soon afterwards. Now it’s Monday morning and I’m wondering if I should’ve just kept my mouth shut.
Here's what people had to say about this...
jrm1102 said:
YTA - so? Visiting 150 countries is really cool, there was no need to sh&t all over it and make a stink. He never said he was better than anyone else, you just assumed that because of your own insecurities.
coastalkid92 said:
YTA. I understand why you don't see this as a personal achievement. Travel is a luxury and for a lot of adults, it's something they aspire to do but in limited quantities.
But, traveling to a 150 countries is not insignificant and means that your colleague likely went to places that were not luxurious. People who travel like Jack are people who have likely have a curiosity about the world and about other cultures and that's nothing to slight. It does say something about him as a person.
You also know next to nothing about how he was able to afford to conduct all of this travel. I grew up traveling across Europe, Asia and parts of Latin America and my family was by no means rich, but my mom worked for an airline and that massively alleviated the burden of travel costs.
Your jealousy got the best of you in this situation. You worked hard, no one can or will ever take that away from you, but you do need to come to a place of resolution that people who grew up even moderately wealthy can also work hard too.
EmmaMD31 said:
YTA. Also, I didn’t travel to nearly that many countries growing up, but to quite a lot and we didn’t have a lot of money. My parents are immigrants and my dad traveled during a lot of my childhood for work.
It was almost free to go on family vacations abroad between free flights due to frequent flier miles and free housing staying with family, friends, and business contacts. Also, grass is always greener - when I was little I used to be jealous of friends going on beach vacations.
Samael13 said:
YTA - So your colleagues were having a fun 'get to know each other' after work drink session, and one of them shared that he's visited 150 countries, and you used that opportunity to derail the conversation, make them feel sh%tty and unwelcome, and you're not sure if you're the AH in the situation? You are.
His visiting 150 countries doesn't detract from your accomplishments. It's not a competition. It was light-hearted bar conversation. Sure, money was obviously a factor, but it doesn't sound like he was trying to make out like he was better than you because he got do something you didn't.
Rich people thinking they're better than everyone else sucks, for sure, but having a huge chip on your shoulder and treating colleagues like shit because they had an opportunity you didn't also sucks.
DogsReadingBooks said:
YTA. He never said he was better than everyone else. That’s you putting that on him. He mentioned what he’d been up to during his spring break. It’s perfectly normal to talk about that. You saying “good for you” is passive aggressive af and you know that.
Mean_Suit_9222 said:
YTA. He didn't say he was better than anyone else. And it is an achievement. True it's something he could only do because his parents had the money but for a lot of people it's not just about the money.
I know people who could travel more and choose not to for different reasons. And I know people who I'd say can't afford travelling and somehow make it work. Going to 150 countries is an achievement like it or not. You just sounded jealous (and you sound jealous in this post).
Btw, I didn't grow up poor (middle class) but I only left my country a few times (by car to the neighbouring country for a couple of says max and twice by plane) until I finished college. Since then I've travelled quite a bit out of my own pocket. So I'm not talking out of my rich privilege.