Man tells GF he didn't 'love' the Christmas gift she got him, 'I blocked her.' AITA? UPDATED 3X.
"AITA for telling my girlfriend that I didn't love the christmas gift she gave me?"
So this Christmas my gf (F20) gave me a Miami Heat's shirt (not a jersey, just like a cotton shirt). We were at her family's house with all her family and she announced to everyone that she was going to give me my present. At first I was a bit surprised, but when I figured it wasn't a prank gift, I shrugged it off and pretended that I liked it.
Later that day, I returned home and left the shirt, still in its bag, in my room. The following day, she visited my house and noticed the bag with the shirt still inside. Curious, she inquired why it hadn't been unpacked and if I genuinely liked her gift. Feeling visibly uncomfortable, I responded with a hesitant "yeah." She pressed me to say the truth and I told her that I didn't like it.
My reasons are:
- I'm a big boy. I'm 1,93m (6'3 ish) and i wheigh 110 kg (242 lbs) and the shirt was a size L. It did not fit me at all;
- I'm a Boston Celtics Fan, and she knows it. I don't give a damn about the Miami heat
I asked her why she got me a Miami Heat's, since she knew i was a Boston Celtics fan and she told me that the Heat's one was the prettiest. (I'm on the spectrum and i struggle a bit on reading other people's emotions). After that I told her my reasons I told her " but at least you can wear it as a pijama :D." She got mad and left my house.
Later she messaged me saying that it is very rude to talk that way about a gift she gave me and that shes never goiing to give me anything, because she's afraid I wont like it. So AITAH for telling my girlfriend that i didn´t love the christmas gift she gave me?
For context: She totally knows I'm a huge Boston Celtics fan. We've caught a bunch of games together, chatted about the team's history, and I've got two posters in my room - one with the team logo and another of Bill Russell. Plus, I've got some Celtics gear, and I usually rock the shorts when I'm chilling at home or at her place.
FIRST UPDATE:
I headed to the store, thinking of swapping the shirt for a Celtics one. No receipt, but I thought I'd give it a shot. Once there, the employee informed me they no longer stocked that shirt.
Taking a glance at it, he pointed out that it was at least 4 years old.Back home, my mind started racing, trying to figure out where she got a 4/5-year-old Miami Heat shirt. Then it hit me - I recalled a conversation where she had mentioned her ex.
As we were catching the 22-23 East Conference Finals, she sees the Heat's logo and goes, "OMG, my ex was like totally obsessed with this team." I met him once and I noticed that he was visibly smaller than me, tall and weight wise. And I know they broke up before Christmas.
Knowing all this got me thinking " did she really recycled a christmas gift? Did she really give me a shirt that was supposed to go to her ex?" For context: She comes from a very wealthy family, so money was never an issue here.
I'm still not entirely sure about my theory, but it really stung, especially considering what I gave her for Christmas. Shes been bugging me about wanting to travel, so I gifted her an all-expenses-paid trip to Fernando de Noronha (Brazil), and this is how she repays me – with her ex's old shirt. I have to talk to her about this.
SECOND UPDATE:
I confronted her about the shirt, and she admitted that it was meant for her ex. Feeling deeply offended, I made the tough call to end the relationship. Despite her pleas not to break up, I couldn't shake off the disrespect I felt. In the end, I not only called off the relationship but also canceled the trip.
Fortunately I got back around 80% of the money i payed for the trip and i used some of the money to buy a Boston Celtics shirt. That it, thanks for reading all of this.
THIRD UPDATE:
She just texted me saying that a friends sent her this post and now she bombarding me with texts calling me the AH for exposing the situation to the whole world. At first I didn't want to block her in order to not give her that much importance, but at this point its just getting annoying. I just blocked her.
Here's what top commenters had to say about this situation:
Garland3467 said:
Not the ahole. Your disappointment in the gift is valid, and the revelation that the shirt was originally meant for her ex adds another layer of discomfort. Ending the relationship and canceling the trip were reasonable decisions.
jessica2376s said:
NTA. You were honest about your feelings regarding the gift and it is understandable why you would not appreciate a shirt from a team you do not support and in a size that does not fit.
The situation took an unexpected turn with the revelation that the shirt might have been meant for her ex, which adds another layer of complexity to the issue. Ending the relationship seems like a reasonable decision given the circumstances.
Fitzcarraldo8 said:
The gift was cheap in many ways and thoughtless. To make a big play about gifting it, to pressure you into admitting that you don’t really like it and then to throw a fit, and the size that is obviously not right for you add up to a wall of red flags that should see you end that relationship asap. I am sure you find a nicer, more caring and probably less creepy (shirt of ex!?) person to be your gf! NTA.
zukolivie said:
Definitely NTA. Your girlfriend bought a gift that SHE liked, not one she thought you would like. It wasn’t thoughtful and she reacted immaturely when she didn’t like the answer to the question she asked. At the risk of being overly dramatic, her behavior is indicative of bigger issues, ones that you want no part of. When people tell you who they are, listen. This is her telling you who she is.
pessimist-1 said:
NTA, you handled it very maturely. On the other hand she's a massive Inconsiderate AH.
Maya2661 said:
NTA. Your ex is disrespectful, rude, selfish and so much more. Good thing that you found out the truth. Such a person is not a friend, but an a$s.
Egal89 said:
NTA - nothing more to say.