Man tells wife, 'divorce me if you don't trust me,' after she accused him of cheating with her sister. AITA?

"AITA for asking my wife to divorce me if she doesn't trust me because she has accused me of cheating on her with her own sister?"

I (28m) have been married to my wife (27f) for 3 years we started dating when I was 21 and she was 20, we love each other very much but a year ago she befriended a woman from our neighborhood, her psychotic "bff" is a total nutcase and psycho misandrist.

She never liked me and so do I, boy do I hate her with passion, she visits my place often and stays for a long time conversing with my wife and ignores me I tried telling my wife to stay away from her but my wife said she's her friend so I didn't push her just because I don't want to appear even a little bit as "controlling'" which might make her think just like that filthy b.

But the breaking point for me was when my wife accused me of cheating on her with her own sister, her sister is 31, she has become my best friend over these years, we play games together call each other to check up on or if need help, but a week ago I went out with her to buy gifts for my wife for her birthday which is in 20 days.

I asked my sister in law for help and we bought a pretty necklace, earrings, and a dress for my wife. We went to eat to a place in our neighborhood where we all frequent to and after that I dropped her off.

Next day my wife came to me and put her phone on my face with a picture of me eating with my SIL, I was shocked and wondering how she could she have but I just said "so what" she said "explain yourself." I didn't want to tell her the truth because I wanted to surprise her, I said there's nothing to explain we just went out to eat and it's not like this is the first time, and asked her to calm down.

But my wife started screaming at me and crying and kept saying that I am cheating on her with my sister in law, and when she said that, I decided that I have had enough of this. I grabbed the gifts which I had kept hidden and receipts and showed it to her and told her everything.

I said "you are surrounding yourself with toxic people and you are corrupting your mind with their toxicity. I didn't say anything this whole time but you are taking it too far now that it has come to the point where we can't even eat with our own family? If you were to go for a lunch with my brother would I accuse you? What sense does it make? If you don't trust me it's better if you just divorce me and find someone else"

I left and I didn't pick her calls this whole time. The accusation is far too much for me, but her family keeps calling me and asking me to forgive her. It's just a misunderstanding, but my sister in law, after I told her about her toxic "bff" says that it's okay to ask for divorce if your spouse doesn't trust but I should atleast try counselling with my wife and help her understand but it's also okay if I divorce.

Thing is I tried to help her understand before and tolerated her bff and whatever she said but this time not only my wife accused me of cheating which is far too much but she accused me of cheating with my sister in law which is disgusting as hell.

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

BoxRemote5960 said:

NTA! Your wife accusing you of cheating with her sister? That’s like a soap opera plot twist! You were just trying to surprise her for her birthday, not start a scandal. Her friend sounds like a bad influence, and if she can’t trust you, maybe a divorce isn’t a bad idea. You deserve someone who believes in you, not someone who thinks family dinners are secret rendezvous. Seriously, you’re just trying to buy jewelry, not plot a heist!

queenieallyson said:

NTA. Your wife's behavior and accusation is completely unreasonable and shows a lack of trust in you. It's not your responsibility to constantly prove your loyalty and innocence to her. It's important to address the root of the issue, which seems to be her toxic friend influencing her thoughts and actions.

If she is not willing to work on your relationship and trust, then it may be better to move on. It's not fair for you to be constantly under suspicion and accused of something as disgusting as cheating with your own sister-in-law. Trust is a crucial aspect of any successful marriage, and it seems like your wife needs to work on that.

nojdanzig said:

Having been here myself many moons ago, I feel your pain. My wife at the time was a SAHM and I worked extra hours to cover any money shortfalls. Every time I came home, my missus was angry and made insinuations despite me ringing during the day to update on what time I was going to get home.

Turns out her poisonous bff was stirring the pot all day at our house and making herself scarce by the time I got back. Her own marriage was disintegrating and she seemed to use ours as some sort of game to make herself feel better. Despite my best efforts to get through to my wife, she wound up suing for divorce. Never underestimate the power of a jealous person to ruin someone you loved.

Thiccklolla said:

NTA. It's understandable to feel hurt and frustrated by your wife's accusations, especially given the nature of your relationship with her sister. Trust is fundamental in a marriage, and her suspicions, fueled by her toxic friend, seem to have crossed a line.

While suggesting divorce may feel extreme, it's important to communicate your boundaries and consider counseling to address the underlying trust issues in your relationship.

Neat-Pen6522 said:

NTA. Seriously, if I saw a picture of my husband and sister eating together my first thought would not be that they’re sleeping with each other. My first thought would actually be, “Well, my bday IS less than a month away, they’re probably planning a surprise for me.” If she can’t trust you with her own sister then she needs to be on board for marriage counseling or divorce.

Ok_Young1709 said:

Nta. Go back home and recommend counselling together, that she cuts off her friend, and then you can work on your marriage together. If she refuses, she's not sorry at all and isn't willing to get help. In that case, you've done all you can and can walk away with your head held high.