'AITA for telling my wife she can't do better than me?'
"AITA for telling my wife she can't do better than me?"
I (M late 40s) and my wife (F early 40s) have been married 10 years. In a recent argument my wife dragged up some things she won't let go.
Men always stare at her and I've accepted it. One time at home her hair was frizzy I was teasing her and called her homely. It was a joke. Another time, she overheard me telling her dad that she wasn't wearing the right clothes at home.
She liked to wear large shirts and sweatpants but I prefer more revealing trashy like Pamela Anderson Baywatch era. She likes sweets and I always told her not to get overweight unless it's a medical issue. When we were with friends I joked that she ate more than me. She lost weight and has been obsessive about looking thin.
She was forced when it was her first time. By the time we met, she seemed fine. I asked her to always wear scented lotion down there because that's my preference. She agreed but when we went on vacation she forgot the lotion and I was furious.
I also suggested that she take a course on how to be with a guy in bed since she didn't have experience. She seemed to withdraw. I didn't realize how much her past affected her.
Her dad got sick and one night she stayed till 2 am and I texted her to find out when she was coming home because our pets were crying for her and I had an important work meeting the next day.
When her dad passed, I didn't hug her and nothing I could have said would help. I had tickets to go to a once in a lifetime concert. I told her I would go and return early in the morning and be back in time for the funeral. She told me no so all that money went to waste, I missed out.
She does have a disability. It doesn't bother me. Visual issues and no one really can tell. She was upset when her friends were handing her stuff and when she reached out, things were falling everywhere and I was standing there but didn't help. I thought she could take care of it.
I also don't cuddle with her at night, she can't see me anyway in the dark. The only difficult time is probably when we're driving and I have to gesture to get her attention if I want her to look at something.
I know she wanted children but they don't always turn out like you want and they're a lot to deal with. She seemed fine about not having them but brought it up and said she resented me for taking that away from her.
She told me I should be a protector for her but she feels like she can't relax around me. But I'm the breadwinner, I provide everything. She has her dream house, car, whatever she wants.
She told me there are better men out there that would treat her the way she needs but she doesn't know if there are good guys left at our age. She also said she would rather live in a tent with a guy that made her feel good than with someone who makes her aware of all her flaws.
I told her she would never find a better guy than me. Since then she hasn't talked to me, I rarely see her in the morning and at night she's either reading or watching TV. AITA?
Let's see what readers thought:
singseet writes:
YTA - You are the epitome of an awful husband. I hope your wife divorces you and finds better.
graa75 writes:
YTA. Wow, this guy is horrible. I'm sorry but he is the worst husband on earth. Is he evil????????