'AITA for telling my wife her reaction to a waitress over the top?'
"AITA for telling my wife her reaction to a waitress over the top?"
I (37M) met my sister in commonly visited city a few weekends back. My wife (37F) came with me and my two kids 8F and 6M. The restaurant was nice, and she asked the waitress to take all of us a picture and she said "that's not part of the job" and walked away. I offered to take the picture instead but she wanted all of us to be in it so whatever.
When the bill came, she snatched it and made sure to put 0 tip. I would have tipped her cash, but my wife would tell the waitress to give it back, and I didn't want to embarrass her like that.
Anyways, when we were driving back to our hotel, I told her that I thought tipping zero was a bit mean. I mean, me personally I would have just taken the picture, but I guess in the job description nowhere did it say "take pictures for customers."
I also said her reaction was a bit over the top. She said that if she didn't want to do stuff like that, working at a tourist city wasn't for her. Before I could say something back, she put in her Airpods and straight up ignored me. AITA?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
T_G_A_H said:
YTA. I’ve never had a server refuse to take a photo. At most they can say “I’ll be right back to do it,” or “things are really busy right now but I can do it a little later” etc. Tips aren’t mandatory—they’re for good service. This server went out of their way to be rude.
Dschingis_Khaaaaan said:
YTA - You’re wife didn’t make a scene, didn’t call out the server, all she did was decide not to tip due to poor service. That’s not “over the top”. The server was unnecessarily rude about a pretty routine and simple customer request. Personally I’d probably just have tipped less but that’s not the requirement.
OkDragonfly4098 said:
Why would you give her extra money for being rude to you? YTA.
Absoma said:
YTA. It isn't hard to not act like an ass and help your customer out with a pic. Unless your wife never tips, listen to her. Tips aren't required, they can reflect the service you get. I've tipped above the standard for above standard service.
Dschingis_Khaaaaan said:
YTA - You’re wife didn’t make a scene, didn’t call out the server, all she did was decide not to tip due to poor service. That’s not “over the top." The server was unnecessarily rude about a pretty routine and simple customer request. Personally I’d probably just have tipped less but that’s not the requirement.
Champagne88 said:
NTA, in my opinion. Having been in the service industry for about 20 years, I know people expect you to do the most ridiculous things for them because "if you want the tip, you will." No, you are not going to hold a tip hostage from me for something, not in my job description.
I will remember you and your service next time will be the absolute minimum of my job. You want her to do extra offer an extra tip don't have it count for the job she had already done well. You have no idea what is going on in her life. For all you know, another server agreed, dropped a phone, and made the rules change.
Aside from all that your wife has zero communication skills and handled the "conversation " with you about it like a child. She needs to grow up and learn how to communicate, or you two will have more issues down the road.
No_Blackberry5879 said:
NTA. Your wife, definitely TAH. Wait staff have to put up with a lot just to do their job for the little money they get, why put more on their plate?
mellywheats said:
NTA. It’s not the waitresses job to take the picture and your wife should’ve been nicer about it. Honestly it’s not the end of the world - phone cameras have self timers. Plus you offered to take it...
You could’ve easily taken it or figured out a spot for a self timer picture or even after dinner found another tourist on the street to take a group picture. The waitress is there to do her job and she was probably already swamped with other tables too. Absolutely NTA imo.
I’ll probably get downvoted but Idk..as a former waitress, I would never be so rude. I mean, it’s a hospitality job. It is her job to be hospitable. I would gladly take any pictures of groups, it’s literally no skin off my back to do so & is a good indicator people have enjoyed their time, ie, probably a good tip as well.
I don’t think asking for one picture is asking the waitress to be a “personal photographer”. I am very anti not tipping wait staff, but tbh, I could see why this would warrant being stiffed and why your wife was upset.
That rude of a response to a harmless request would probably tank the good mood of the dinner. If your wife normally is pro tipping and this isn’t a regular thing, I do think YTA for not having her back.
Don't get me wrong, I agree. But I just felt a bit bad leaving no tip at all. I don't know how one works in miami but has never been asked for a picture. But yeah, thanks for the comments.