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Man discovers missing $2,000 from joint account is from wife's interest in MLM; AITA?

Man discovers missing $2,000 from joint account is from wife's interest in MLM; AITA?


Money is often an uncomfortable topic in relationships as there's nothing less romantic than staring at a spreadsheet of expenses and deciding what can be cut from this month's brutally boring budget...

So, when a conflicted husband decided to consult the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit's 'Am I the As*hole' about his wife's debatably reckless financial decisions from their joint bank account, strangers everywhere were ready to weigh in on the money drama.

AITA (Am I the As*hole) for telling my wife I would open a separate account if she didn't get our money back?

I (39M) have been married to my wife (36F) for twelve years. We have no children, but we do have a cat and a dog who we consider to be our children. My wife has a sister 'M' (37F) who has made very poor financial choices and is now heavily in debt.

She refuses to get a job and instead jumps from on MLM or get rich quick scam to the next, sponging off of relatives to make ends meet.

Both me and my wife work full-time. We each have separate accounts that we use for our 'fun' money for hobbies or whatever we want.

We earn almost the same amount of money, with me being a little higher, so I contribute 60% and she contributes 40% to make things fair and also so we each have about the same amount of 'fun money.'

We also have a joint checking and savings account that we use for the household bills and household emergency fund (like when the water heater flooded the basement in the middle of the night).

Both of us have access to the joint accounts, and if we need to use it, it is never an issue, so long as we make sure to tell the other that we used funds from those accounts.

As I was going through the statements for our joint household account, I noticed that there was approximately $2,000.00 missing from the joint savings account.

I noticed that they were all Venmo transfers to her sister. When my wife came home from work I asked what this was about, and she told me that her sister needed money to start her own business.

My wife sat me down and explained to me that her sister joined yet another freaking pyramid scheme, this time selling fake nails and makeup. My wife said that she has the potential to earn six figures a month and if that was true.

My wife also said that she too was going to join her sister selling these products and if she made enough would quit her job and sell them full-time with her sister.

I told my wife that she either needs to get that money back from her sister or I would open a new account for my share of the household expenses and transfer it to that account when it was time to pay bills.

My wife is upset with me and does not understand why I am being so unsupportive. I told my wife that not only did she take money and not tell me about it, she invested it into something without even considering how I would feel about it.

My SIL called me last night and said that I was a raging AH and a control freak and that I was stopping my wife from using her full potential. I told my SIL that I would support my wife in anything she chooses to do, as long as it would not cause financial harm to our family. My wife and SIL are both pissed at me and now I feel like an a*s. AITA for telling my wife to get the money back?

Here's what the jury of internet strangers had to say:

FirmlyThatGuy said:

NTA. You don’t secretly take money from a joint account. You ask as it’s family money. I’d separate accounts. Your wife is intent on joining a pyramid scheme and will end up losing thousands (statistically this is the most likely outcome of pyramid schemes/MLMs). Protect your assets before that happens.

Adept-One-819 said:

NTA. Had she spent her own fun money, that would be one thing. She can do whatever she wants with that. She can either get that money back from her sister or use her discretionary income to top up the account, but she cannot make unilateral decisions about family funds without your approval. Unless she's cool with you literally setting $2k on fire in front of her because you felt like it.

janewilson90 said:

NTA. But you know you're not getting that money back. Your wife seems to be getting sucked into the MLM void. They are very good at targeting women and encouraging them to cut off the 'haters' who can't/won't support them in their 'girl boss' endeavor.

Taking $2000 out of the joint account is not ok. That's a significant amount of money and should be dissussed before being spent. You'll need to tread carefully with your wife though. If she's been sucked in too far to the MLM life, it'll be very hard for her to break out.

purpleglitterkitty said:

NTA. Your wife took a large sum of money without discussing it with you first. My guess is that if she had told you about this, you would have refused, so she did it behind your back. Being married is a partnership.

That means that ALL financial matters need to be agreed upon by both parties, especially when it comes to investing or spending joint funds.

SnakesCantWearPants said:

NTA. Your wife made a major financial decision using both of your money without discussing it with you. She depleted your household savings while simultaneously planning to change her source of income to something extremely unstable, thereby jeopardizing the financial security of your shared household, again with no discussion. That is not how things work in a partnership.

Note to anyone considering investing in their sister's MLM...maybe talk to your partner first? Or, at the very least, watch the many documentaries that are available on these scams. Good luck, everyone!

Sources: Reddit
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